How do I make sure mom can live at home when dad is gone?

Thanks for your comments. Mom was a typical stay at home mom while dad worked. She had no credit... so dad was the purchaser of their home. Mom deals with major depressive episodes and does not handle finances, she doesn't even drive anymore. I will contact the office of the aging because I need specific answers on how to handle things in NY state. Dad hates it when we discuss end of life preparations... I just know it needs to be dealt with now to avoid difficulties later... sorry papa. I love them with all my heart.

You should go to your local council on aging, and you should probably also see an elder lawyer to avoid a mistake that could make a mess of your finances. You have my sympathy. Money is the last thing we want to worry about, but it can ruin things fast.

I don't understand in the first place why your mom's name isn't on the house & car. That doesn't make sense to me. But if your dad is willing, and your mom will be unable mentally because of dementia, then I'd say to get your name on the bank accounts AND the house. If there are other siblings, then that's probably gonna be a problem, but someone other than your dads name needs to be on these things. And POA is only good for the bank, and when the person dies who you have POA over, then your job is done. That's why you need to actually become 'co-owner' of your parents bank accounts. Not just POA.

I have spoken with dad and he also wants her secure when he's gone. The best situation would be for mom and I to continue here at home. We need some advice on how to legally make sure we don't lose house, car, etc. Where do I start? Is this where POA comes in?

Have you spoken to him about your concerns and where do you want your mom to be?