My husband hallucinates that I'm in the room when I am not. Then he thinks I'm mad at him for not talking to him. Any suggestions?

Those benign hallucinations are fascinating , yet scary. I still remember my Mother believing that the fire hydrants outside her complex were little people who were going to get in her condo and rob and hurt her. She too was afterwards diagnosed with a UTI. She passed away from vascular dementia and Alzheimer's combined. She died in 1997 at the age of 75 after 10 years of progressing symptoms .

My mom "hears people talking" and "sees many people" all the time. It usually happens in the early hours of the morning so you can believe I'll say anything to appease her so I can go back to sleep (if I can). There is no such thing as not lying to these people - you say things that will keep them calm.

My husband has Lewy Body Dementia. He doesn't have visual hallucinations, but sometimes thinks he hears things. However, he is very sensitive and often thinks I'm angry or upset. He will also say I'm yelling, when I am just speaking louder because he says he can't hear me. If I apply pressure to his back to get him to move, when he seems "stuck" in place, he says I have pushed him. I've read that problems with perception are part of the disease, so I think that is why he misreads my facial expression, the volume of my voice, and the amount of pressure vs push. He also has trouble judging speed and distance, which is one of the many reasons he doesn't drive anymore. When I try to explain the differences, I can tell that he doesn't understand. So in my experience apologizing and explaining don't really help, though it may help us feel better. At least we tried.

That is LBD. My mom has this, even though they haven't actually put her through tests. You describe it so well.

I should have made my original post a little clearer. Yes, my husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia about 5 years ago. I have had no problem with dealing with him seeing things that aren't there - yesterday it was blue jays in the kitchen. I just had a hard time trying to think of the right response when he was so sure that I was mad at him because I didn't answer (when I wasn't even in the same room). I also hated to see him so sad about it. I appreciate the positive suggestions.

oops, should be "judging me" looks like Ive had one too many....................................cups of coffee that is............................:-) LOL W

But if you really want a quick end to it, get a divorce. IDK;_) W I know, I know, Im as callous as ever but you must read my circumstances before juding me. Good day! :-) W

Glee, I read your profile and noticed your husband has already been diagnosed, yes? My first impression is the same as JeanneGibbs. Say whatever to let him think you were distracted or didn't hear him. It really doesn't matter, because honestly, it will get worse, so do all the talking you can with him responding now!
Also, this can happen to anyone. I find myself saying something to my husband and he has left the room. He is hard of hearing. Yes, I am very patient with him because we have several years to go and no sense getting impatient yet:) I just hunt him down and repeat myself. Finish the sentence, finish the thought, complete the momentary communication. You will be thankful one day.
I recommend journaling some of your more interesting exchanges. You can refer to them when you are the one doing all the talking, and you can use it as subject matter. I say this as it is what I have experienced with my Mother. When I am talking to her I remind her of incidents that perhaps she can remember. Who knows? Sometimes she responds with a big YES! It is all she can do to get one word out. Yesterday, for Mother's Day, she tried to smile. To me, that was huge.
Take care, Dear One, and savor every moment:) xo

Get him to a doctor to diagnose the hallucinations. It could be a mental illness, dementia or something else. In any event, do not take his accusations to heart. He is ill and you can be patient and understanding.

I would have him checked for a UTI urinary track infection. My mom would do this when she developed one. Also very confused.

Stay mad :-) LOL W

Are you staying on top of his physical health? Kidney function can increase hallucinations. Perhaps discuss how to handle this with his physician. Medication adjustments might be inorder. Care for your own physical and mental health. Are you getting respite from caregiving? Are you physically and emotionally safe and secure? You have to put your own oxygen mask on first in order to successfully care for your husband.

"Oh, honey, I'm not made at you at all! I'm sorry I didn't hear you. My mind must have been a million miles away."

"I've been out of the room for a while. Do you think maybe you dreamed I was here? I assure you, if I had been here I would have talked to you. I love you very much and I'm not mad at you!"

"I wish I could be with you all the time. I love you very much. Sometimes I have to be in a different room for a little while. That doesn't mean I'm mad at you."

"I'm so sorry that it felt to you like I was deliberately not talking to you. I makes me sad that you are are sad. I am not mad. I love you very much and I'm sorry for this misunderstanding."

In this case I would not agree with the hallucination or delusion -- I wouldn't say "Yes, I was mad." But I would try to reassure him of your love, without blatantly accusing him of seeing things.

When we said "for better and for worse," who ever could have had this kind of thing in mind?!

Kudos to you for trying to figure out how to handle this. And let us know if you come up with something that works for you. We learn from each other.