My partner's mom got mad and left the home we share while we were at work. She is staying with another son. Anyone had this happen?

I am still confused. If your partner's name is on the deed, his siblings cannot require you both to move out. They simply do not have that authority. End of that issue.

Mom has moved out. That is her choice, I guess. If you did not insist that she leave, you do not owe her anything for it. If Mom wants to stay away and have a sibling (or anyone else) move into her room, well, it is her house, too, and I suppose she could do that. But she cannot force you out in favor of some other relative.

So forget about being evicted. Concentrate on what is best for Mom, hopefully in cooperation with the rest of the family.

OK I have used too many pronouns. My partner & his mother bought the house together. 50/50. His siblings think Mom is fine & has every reason to complain & 'you asked for it'. Mom said that her oldest (the lone female) was going to (come & stay for a while & so get your stuff out of the room you are using. No, she cannot stay in the guest room. Yes, it is only for a while. Mom might want to have a guest. .........) Mom eats & drinks things she should not. I will not share the long story about last October & me making she HER doc knew how ill she was while I was at the hospital with my (Type 1 on an insulin pump, scaring her OB to death) daughter as she was walking the tightrope between keeping the baby long enough for him to develope as much as possible and permenant damage to her kidneys & other vital organs. Mom ended up in the hospital in October becasue I stayed on top of things. Her sister has her power of everything. She got tired of taking care of her sister. Her daughter has had 3-4 prior opportunites to move in with mom. Her oldest lives with a room-mate & her other son left her on the floor (according to her, but that's the brother she has been staying with for the past almost 4 weeks, now) Yesterday, while visiting 'Mom' in the hospital, my partner finds out that his sister is NOT coming. We will not move until there is a clear, written, understanding. We got into this position, by trusting...

You say "they bought the house together" -- meaning your partner and his mother, or all the siblings and his mother? Who are "they"?

I am trying to sort out why family members think you should move out of the house if it is partially yours. Do they expect you to lose your investment in it?

Moving out and letting another family move in with Mother might be the best option. But first I'd like to understand who owns the house and what your financial stake in this is.

Ok-Msdaizy-we were posting at the same time!- and your post is so nice and I am all like get the lady out!! Msdaizy makes good points about dementia. If Mom is not able minded this changes things up quite a bit. It is a good idea to see if there is any dementia going on. Hopefully not!!!

Top hat? That --- stupid auto correct!

Ohhhh, HarpnJack as in you play the harp! I thought you meant to you know-harp on about something! D'oh. Well we do harp on here-at least I do. ;0)

Anyway- the only concern with the Mom is her mobility and safety issues right? Not mental? And she has neve been happy with things. I think eyerishlass is right. You need to nip this in the bud!! Have you read some of the posts on here? About narcissistic parents and their power over their caretakers ? It is scary. Mom is still pretty with it , you guys are pretty early in her game playing, I think. When is the lease up from the old house? Maybe you can get back in there? I would just so not play into this woman's game. But I know that is hard to do.
So I don't really know what to say top hat could help except don't let this get in between you and your partner. Try and stay on the same side. It is so easy to let a loud person come between a relationship. Be strong.

Good luck and blessings to you and yours. Sorry I was not more of a help! Keep us updated:0) ( I'm a nosy thing)

sorry that should have read..."dementia will change the disposition of someone you love."

Harp...it seems your partners mom has some kind of dementia. I know you said that she wasnt diagnosed with it...Is there anyway someone could get her in for an appointment. Dementia will totally chance the disposition of someone you love. As it did with my mom. She didn't know who any of us were after she moved in with us. She was moody..and unappreciative, so not my mom. She thought we were stealing her clothes and shoes. It was so hard to even imagine that this person I knew as my mom, was so different. She would talk about my husband while he was still in the room. This was so not like my mom at all. She was an imposter. I just had to learn how to work around it. Teepa Snow is a great teacher on the whole dementia disease...you can google her name and see the videos that help you handle Dementia/Alz patients.
If she is happy ...I would let things go for now...she most likely will change her mind again. But let me just say. If it's dementia...her new room mate might have the same problem soon. Enjoy your quiet space while you can...because the journey with dementia will get crazy. Good luck...and God Bless.

I am venting (like you did not notice) I don't know who thinks a harp is loud and obnoxious. But, 'Mom' has turned the volume UP on the TV (yup, she hardly ever wears her hearing aids) while I was practicing my harp in another room. And since she cannot hear me, she had recently started saying (to my face) 'I can't hear her' & turning on her heel & walking away. (Toddling away. better visual)

Too much drama Eyerishlass! Mom never lived with that other brother, only with us. The 3 of us moved in together. At the same time. Yes, Mom is running to whomever will listen to her sad tale. I asked an old family friend about Mom's happiness. She told me that she has never been happy. My partner now has it coming back to him.... she was like this before.... he had just been away from it as an adult. Oh, Mom wants to live in the 'new house', then one she says that she hates, after she liked it. With the sister who is a willing servant & who will allow herself to be abused. It is only a matter of time before this happens again. She will be unhappy & want the daughter to move .....

So you and Partner lived in his house while Mom lived with Brother. While there she fell and someone decided that she needed more supervision so you and Partner leased the house you WERE living in and Partner and Mom bought a house together so that Partner could care for her. You moved in. Now Mom stormed out of THIS house and went BACK to Brother's house. And now the rest of Partner's family thinks you two should move out. Where will this leave Mom? Back at square 1, with the brother she moved out on to move in with you two?

My opinion is you and Partner pack up your harp and get the hell outta dodge. This is a merry-go-round with Mom running to and fro depending upon who's being nicer to her (I'm guessing). You can't win.

I don't blame you for not wanting to move. Again. But maybe just move to get out from under this situation and make it the last time you move. Or Partner can buy Mom out and you guys can stay there and she can stay with the brother. This sounds like a lot of drama. Mom's at Brother's, then she's with you, now she's at Brother's again. Maybe she's not happy anywhere.

It seemed like a good idea at the time..... Mom didn't want to move in with a child.... they bought the house together. She forgets the expenses that we pay. She will not communicate. The brother who is putting her up will not communicate. She complained about visiting that same brother & falling in the crampted bedroom they put her in & then she fell and was on the floor for hours and they did not check on her. She had been falling and that was part of the reason we "stepped up". She has not been diagnosed with any dementia. We have 3 rescue dogs, a baby grand, & a harp. We cannot just pack up & leave overnight. Part of me wants to know how many houses a man should have to own before he can live in one of them.... he had a home we LOVED until we decided that we would help. Now it is leased.

Hi HarpnJack,
Oh yeah, eyerishlass is right -we have lots of threads about stinker parents!! Crabby, moody, down right abusive malcontents. Is her other son willing to keep her? It sounds like it is her house, no? If the other siblings what you guys to move out. Can you do that? If you can get out of an unhappy situation now before it gets to volitle and unhealthy do it. IMO. Good luck.

How do you "share" the house? Who owns it? Who pays rent?

Hi Harpn,

There are a lot of threads on this board about verbally and emotionally abusive elderly mothers. I'm sorry that your partner has such a mother.

Whose house is it? And she stormed off and went to your partner's brother's house?

If all 3 of you are unhappy with the current living situation it sounds like it might be time for a change. Does mom have dementia or Alzheimer's? Are the siblings (your partner's siblings, right?) being reasonable?

If you're comfortable sharing a few more details more people will weigh in, I imagine. Like I said, verbally and emotionally abusive mother's are prevalent on this website.