How do I get grandmother into a nursing home without involving her children?

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BrandiB Asked May 2013

How do I get grandmother into a nursing home without involving her children?

Currently my grandmother is in an assisted living home in SC. She has a degenerative spine and just recently had a stroke. She has 6 children and they are divided. The one with POA and Medical POA thinks she is just fine in the assisted living home. They didn't even want her taken to the hospital when she had the at stroke and keep telling the DR. that she had a living will. (Which had nothing to do with her being on machines to keep her living) The DR. also told them she needed rehab and they don't even want her to have that. She is back at the assisted living home now. For several months she has not been capable of going to the bathroom. She needs 24 hour care and because of the money and some other family issues 3 of them don't seem to care about her well being. Then there is the issue of her home. Apparently there is a living trust and her home and some land is in a living estate and has been set up this way for about 3 or 4 years. however the one to inherit the home is one of the one not wanting her moved because of the money and he losing a place to live. If she is moved to a home can the nursing home come back and file a claim against her estate after she passes to collect what cant be paid since it has only been 3 or 4 years and would they have to move out of the home?

Skilled Nursing Facility

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score 0 · Answer 1

BrandiB-I am assuming you are the granddaughter and with your aunt or uncle having POA and DPOA, you have very little to say about things. Everything else is moot. The nursing home will expect to be paid from the estate if anything is owing.

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score 0 · Answer 2

The range of care that assisted living can provide is pretty wide, but certainly should include help with ADLs (activities of daily living). That includes bathing, toileting, dressing, feeding, and managing most medications. Some assisted living communities accept residents who need lots of hands-on, 24 hour care, some do not. You're right, they're not licensed to provide skilled nursing care – like life support – but there are several communities that I'm familiar with where you'd have a hard time distinguishing the care from that provided by a nursing home. And, because the majority of the residents tend to be more alert and participatory, the atmosphere is often much less restrictive and much more pleasant.
Skilled nursing facilities play an important role in senior care, but if my loved one's needs were able to be met by an AL, I'd pick it over a SNF any day.

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score 0 · Answer 3

I would think the assisted living home would HAVE to move her out? What are their "standards of care" in what they do for the people? Do they do full service care, like toileting, etc? Or is it minimal? I know the ones here have certain levels of care that they are allowed to provide, if the persons needs go beyond what they can LEGALLY provide they are REQUIRED seek other placement for them. They usually will go to the family first, and if the family doesn't cooperate, I am SURE there are other things that can be done, but the assisted living home can get into HUGE trouble if they are caught either providing cares they are not permitted to do, or if they are denying cares that a person needs (by not moving them on)?! Does that make sense?

I would start by talking to the assisted living home. Is she beyond what they can legally cover?? Are they aware of her recent decline? Get them behind you if possible. They COULD be a great source to accomplish what needs to be done! :) Hope this helps!

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score 0 · Answer 4

Why do you feel she is not being adequately cared for in assisted living? How does your grandmother feel about making a move to a nursing home? Does your grandmother want rehab?
If you are looking to become the decision maker for your grandmother without her appointing you as such, and without the cooperation of her six children, you have a pretty tough battle ahead of you.
As for the questions about her estate, see an attorney if you feel something is being mismanaged.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Does your grandma have a living will? If so that will tell the courts what they need to do. Otherwise you will need to seek out an attorney and you will have to proof all of the children unworthy to have any POA revoked.

You have a long road ahead, but you will need to seek out an attorney to make anything happen.

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score 2 · Answer 6

Go to an elder care attorney and review the POA (that's a public document, you are entitled to a copy). I would think it is very possible that the current POA is worthy of being relieved of duty, because these decisions do not seem to be in grandmother's best interest. Now it is also very possible that there are things you are not aware of, and also note that some assisted living facilities can cross over into skilled nursing territory and even provide for some on-site rehab therapies that should be covered if some progress can be made. They can also go over Medicaid coverage issues and estate recovery issues and all of that and gvie actual accurate answers to your questions; the exact rules and regs vary a lot from state to state.

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How do I get grandmother into a nursing home without involving her children?

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