At what age do manners disappear?

Is the behavior actually rude, or just thoughtless? If it's intentional, then let 'em have it with both barrels. Older, sicker people do focus on themselves, but sometimes they will respond to a gentle reminder.

elderly parents are like little kids. You need to set rules and boundarys with them. and you need to remind them in a kind manner when they forget. i look at my 66 yr old mother in law like a 4 yr old toddler. i say no smoking in the house. but do i catch her smoking in the upstiars bathroom yes, then i kindly tell her . Mom remeber the rule no smoking in the house because the grand child has asthma and even left over smoke can make him have an attack. and she will go out on the front porch. i wish i could get her off the darn ciggaretts they are nasty and sooo expensive. I would give her the world if she asked for it but i will NOT buy ciggaretts for her. she has to buy them herself when we go to the store. So just make a rule that there are no cell phones during dinner or tv time. any other time is ok.

haha , NancyH! Love the solution!! I don't own a cell phone. I actually have to ask people what time it is in stores!

I tend to give older people a pass on certain things. Maybe that is wrong. If they are at the point of needing caregiving that is. I mean they have so much that they are losing- independence, driving, sometimes hearing and the privacy of wiping their own behinds --I just , well, want to give them a few things . As mentioned in your last post about phone issues.
BUT- I will say there is no excuse for using your cereal spoon for the jam!---(DAD!) bleh. so gross! (note to self ---pack my own jam for trip to parents house on Monday) But he is the caregiver not the caregivee. No pass!! (and he did this my whole life)

Rudeness with cell phones is certainly not limited to the elderly!

How is your Mom's cognition? Could you take her aside and gently explain what the protocol is with these new-fangled phones?

As my mom got sicker with cancer, she also got crankier and didn't seem to care who or what she said to people. That I can kinda understand, but the cell phone thing is something people do at all ages it seems, not necessarily old age. Funny story, there was a guy where my husband worked that had one of those ear pieces always on his ear. He had it on constantly talking to his wife, so when he talked no one knew if it was to them or this guy's wife. Well one day one of the guys got tired of it and hollered 'Hey Frank ! You still banging' that waitress?' While I may hate that word 'banging', the guy surely did get the point, and never had his wife on the phone when he was in the shop again. ha