My mother is 94 y.o., mobility problems, living in Assisted Living facility. She has never been sociable and isolates more than ever since she cannot walk. She sees few people other than the caregivers and dumps all of her emotions on me when I visit, almost daily. I do her chores and she emotes. I feel like I'm losing my life in her problems and it is affecting my own mental health.
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Do anything and everything you can to stay happy. Smile. Take a shower. Walk... Smile... Think happy thoughts when ever you find that you are not... push away the sad thoughts and try to think of something nice. The longer your brain is focused on happy, the more it will be exercise and the happy muscle will be strengthened.
Tony Robins says to write 12 things you are thankful for each morning. I do it at night before I go to sleep and I sleep much better, which helps me to feel better the next day.
Put on some music and dance... or wear headphones when you walk around the block and while walking, sway to the music. People will think you are really enjoying yourself and you might be... smiling.
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But even if that can be managed, there seems to be a deeper issue here. Do you feel obligated to listen to her? Why is that? Sounds as if she has a life-long habit of being unsociable and complaining and you fell into step and have the habit of putting up with it. If you could see things differently, the problem might be eliminated. Let her be however she is and work on freeing yourself mentally. Maybe meds would help her and meanwhile please consider counseling for yourself. God bless.
The staff at the assisted living facility noticed I looked like hell, and told me flat out that the stress of dealing with my mother daily was showing. They told me to let go and let them do their job. I was much happier after that.
I would never classify my mom as a happy person. She never seemed to be happy with anyone or anything unless it was a friend she could use or manipulate.
Try to work some kind of regular exercise into your day even if it's just putting on some sneakers and walking around the neighborhood. Water aerobics, Zumba an exercise bike anything. It's been proven exercise is better than pills for improving mood.
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