First of all, I have found this forum very beneficial and informative. Everyone's situation is different but I have learned alot from this site that I hope will help my case. I am an only child who has a 91 year old mother who has been living independently in her home by herself since my father died 4 years ago. I live 4 hours away from her home and can only checkup and help her maybe twice a month. She has a sister and niece who help her with medications, grocery shopping, and doctor's appointments. Her only physical problems include some vision loss, some hearing loss, and some fraility from being 91. She walks with a cane or walker. She was doing wonderful until about 2 months ago when she came down with pneumonia. She has been in a rehab facility for about 5 weeks. The social worker there is telling me that at this point in time it doesn't look like they can recommend her for a safe discharge back to independent living. The only options for us is for her to remain in skilled nursing or go to assisted living (which she should physicallly qualify for). My mother has all her mental capabilities and a sound mind. She just wants to go home and not pay any money towards assisted living or in-home care. I am at my wits end trying to determine what to do. Her discharge date is about 2 weeks away. I'm afraid she won't qualify for a safe discharge to independent living. I have legal power of attorney, but can I "force" her to go into assisted living if she doesn't want to? I also get the impression that the Skilled Nursing Facility is steering us towards their Assisted Living because it will be self-pay. My mother could only pay for Assisted Living for about 6-8 months until her savings runs out. Does this sound familiar to anyone???
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I would have a meeting with the nurse/doctor at the skilled facility and your Mom and have them explain to her what the options are. You are not ASKING your mom to move into ALF, you are telling her.
Look into options in her town and in your area. Take tours with your Mom, if possible, and have her be part of the decision making process. ALFs are expensive and costs accrue quickly based upon level of need - and needs increase in time.
Can you sell your Mom's home to pay for her care?