I am going to down to Ca in a few weeks to see my 88 year old Mother. How do I deal with her negativity?

I wanted to write that I think that because the kids never called she got an attitude, I think that she thinks they don't care.

Thank you so much for your responses. My oldest son can deal with her. The little one I can explain to him. All my brothers and sisters do not call her even call her.. My parents were there for us when we needed them as we became adults, but my oldest brother who is a psychologist and deals with the elderly won't even call her. I am the only kid who is left that handles all her affairs. If she turns on me it is going to be hard. I think that deep down she is angry at her children. My Mother is becoming really religious sort of, like thinking Jesus is returning, knowing things, but some of the things she is Knowing are her imagination or negative thoughts that are coming in. She is telling me some strange stories. She is mixing stories together. The reason why we get along is because I get her. I understand the thoughts. I am just very worried about all the stress, she won't take any meds, she is very controlling. The summer heat is what gets to her and she starts to act very strange. Thank you very much for your responses.

Do you have an opportunity to speak privately with her doctor and a senior social worker before your trip? They could offer some insights. I would also suggest scheduling a doctor visit while you are there, and discussing the symptoms you are seeing. She may be experiencing senile dementia and/or complications related to her age and the MS. I agree that you may want to reconsider taking the children with you, if that is an option. Try to gather as much information as possible so you can make an informed decision for you, your kids, and your mother. You may also want to try to help her reconnect with your siblings, as they could be of help with your mother.

Do you have any option not to bring your kids with you? It sounds like it could be confusing and upsetting for them - maybe prepare them ahead of time to know that their grandmother has some problems and not to take to heart anything negative she says. Another option would be a hotel so you would have a retreat if needed - I know the cost is not insignificant but but if you feel fear for yourself and your kids it's important to honor that.