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nikawriter Asked July 2013

How do I talk productively with my mother who has dementia?

My mother, over whose financial and household matters I have taken responsibility, often becomes enraged and hurt when I try to explain things (albeit as simply as possible). She insists that I include her in decision-making, despite being increasingly unable to follow the process. When I go ahead and make decisions, whether with her or not, she usually doesn't remember and it quickly falls into argument and conflict. While I do my best to not to take her outbursts personally, it's becoming increasingly more difficult. How do handle her anger, frustration, and hurt feelings while continuing to help with her care? She is mobile, recognizes her family, and can come across as very coherent, but this can evaporate in an instant. As her closest relative, I have become the focal point of my mother's rage and anger.

merrtell Jul 2013
Sometimes kind bluntness is the only way. I finally had to tell my mother that if she would like to try to do the bills herself feel free. Stopped her cold in her tracks. It's really hard doing the money side of things because for awhile I think they believe you are cheating them. I'd they only knew what we are dong for them

NancyH Jul 2013
Nika, Either your mother trusts you or she doesn't. It may come down to you having to ask her that point blank. She is going to forget everything you're telling her about her finances, so at some point she HAS to trust you to do the right thing for her.

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anonymous175958 Jul 2013
Its Like A Diease of Future . In this We Can Image Our Furture Day at Present.Dementia is the progressive deterioration in cognitive function - the ability to process though.
I Think Following Some Treatment Helpfull For Your Mother:
1).Nilvadipine, used for the treatment of hypertension, may considerably reduce the risk of dementia.
2)The psoriasis drug, acitretin may alter the way proteins connect to dementia structure, the researchers believe.
3)The aging brain benefits from simple mental activities, such as playing games, doing puzzles, reading and writing

Last Tips More Important & Helpfull for Dementia.
Thanks Take Care Your Mother

Sylvial Jul 2013
My mother did the same thing to my sister. We used to distract her and that worked. She would still do it every couple of weeks and we let her vent and distracted her. One day I handed her her bills and she opened one and handed it to me and said,, your sister handles this right? LOL. Sadly she has progressed and forgotten she even has bills. good luck. It's hard on them to loose their independence.

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