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D
Dreyfuss Asked July 2013

Do caregivers often see the past more vividly than other siblings?

I keep remembering rotten things that my parents did over the years. They treated my ex wife like crap. They certainly did some nasty things to me. It seems to be hitting me harder than ever.

morningglory3 Jul 2013
Mom eats pretty good at least 2 good meals and a snack at dinner & sometimes even dinner. Why is it older people start to get thinner even though they eat the same? I realize probably just lose muscle too but can be little scary too. I heard a comment once that it means getting to end of life? That's a bit disheartening for me. Has anyone heard this before? Or should I put out of my mind?

morningglory3 Jul 2013
For myself mom is my full time job therefore she is my focus and I find myself thinking about the past and her. I do agree that my two brothers only see that things are cool and that I have things under control. I doubt they see or seriously care to see the daily sacrifices I make daily. It can be very upsetting and frustrating. I'm sure my siblings really don't think about past events like I do.

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anonymous158299 Jul 2013
as primary carer you are sacrificing things that the other siblings dont see or care to see. i could understand moments of wondering if the parent " earned " this level of committment from you. in my mothers case, yes, she was a wonderful parent. my dad was a frothing religious zealot and mother was our window to the real world. id be a closed minded efftard had she not sat and read real books to us about real life, real humor, and reality outside of dads creepy cult. ( fire breathing nazarene )

sharynmarie Jul 2013
I don't want to say that what you experienced is not correct, but siblings have different realities. This does not mean that what you experienced is not true. Oftentimes these memories come out when we are having to deal with the care of our parents in their elder years. A dysfunctional family has roles and labels they put on family members...such as the golden child is usually an older child the parents have great hope in achieving a level of income ans popularity that the parents could not. Then there is the scapegoat child...the child the parents criticize and blame as being irresponsible. I am the scapegoat because I did not buy into my parents belief system. You are probably remembering things because you are more involved in the care of your parents than your siblings are. More information from you would be helpful...Hugs to you and I hope you share more!!

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