My sister wants my mother in a home and I have POA and I want her to live what time she has in her on home. I don't want her to die alone like my dad did. My cousin and I give her 24/7 care and I take care of all her bills and anything else that comes up. We also have and Aid come in to help 5 days a week from Hospice and nurses and a doctor that comes and checks on her. What I am worried about is if My mother put my sister as executor I have no idea what she is capable of doing. She is very greedy and thinks everything should go to her an her family. I am the one the takes care of her. My sister hardly even comes over or calls to check on her. To tell you the truth I don't even know if she has a will. She did not even have her funeral taken care off, so I went and took care of that myself. I would just like to know how much power an Executor has, if we find her will. Someone please help. All I want is what best for my mom.
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Perhaps the best thing to do now is to sit down and talk to your sister about the future. Yes, I know you feel she's bossy and selfish, but nothing you say about her makes her sound evil or dishonest, and you say you love each other. So the two of you should be able to talk about the important stuff, especially about your own future and your cousin’s. I suspect this is where issues may arise and maybe it’s part of what prompted your original question.
How and where are you going to live when your mother dies? It may be that this is what your sister is trying to get you to think about. Can you and your cousin get by financially when your mother is no longer contributing? If not, can you get a job when your mother is gone? Can you and your cousin afford to buy out your sister’s share of the house when the time comes to liquidate your mother’s estate? If not, could the two of you offer to rent it, paying your sister half the going rental rate for a comparable house?
You and your cousin obviously care greatly about your mother. That’s wonderful. But you have a responsibility to yourself, to be realistic about your future and plan how to live the rest of your life. Be strong, be optimistic. I’ll be thinking about you.
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This is a really stressful time for you and I know you are worried about a will and what the outcome will be. Anyone in your shoes would feel the same exact way. I honestly do not know if going to see an attorney would do you any good at this point unless he was well versed in Medicaid and you asked your sister to please go along with you and you had him lay out what will happen if you sell the house or keep it.
I made sure my Mom gave me POA for Finances and Healthcare because my older sister had made comments about putting my Mom in a NH and I was NOT going to allow that to happen, I promised her it wouldn't. All that had to be done prior to Mom becoming really ill with dementia, it is probably too late for your to do this. There is conservatorship and guardianship and I honestly do not know the differences but you have quite a bit of work to do and it does cost. I don't know if you want to spend the money on your Mom or an attorney...... is see your quandry in this.
Wouldn't it just be so nice to have siblings that are nice and kind and willing to help and easy to talk to? Dealing with an ill parent and knowing death will happen sooner or later should make everyone flock together to help, not tear everyone apart and make them enemies!
My heart goes out to you and I truly hope you and your sister can sit down together and work as a team. I will pray for you if you will pray for me on this!
God Bless You!
At the least your sister is delusional! As we have all tried to tell you if she sells the house the Nursing Home and Medicaid will REQUIRE that they be paid the proceeds from the sale of the house. The proceeds are considered ASSETS and so if she gets $200,000 and a nursing home in your area costs $2,000 a month, Medicaid will NOT COVER ONE CENT OF HER CARE FOR 8 YEARS!!!!!!!!
Your Mother is far better off being cared for by you in her own home, hopefully until she dies. Then you can sell the house and divide it equally. If you bring Medicaid into it they will take their share of the proceeds. You and all your siblings need to get the facts straight and not let this sister do this. If nothing else, copy off this blog and mail it to her!
Warm wishes and Big Hugs,
Sunny:)
Ensure that all the real and personal property is protected, including arranging if necessary fire insurance on buildings, and changing locks to protect assets
Locate safely deposit boxes and attempt to locate the key.
Selecting the lawyer to act for the estate and obtaining from them notarial copies of the death certiciate. Choose a lawyer who has extensive experience in Wills and Estates work. Pick an accountant to assist you if your lawyer suggests this is appropriate. Discuss the lawyers and accountants fees and disbursements right up front.
Locate all life insurance policies and notify the insurance company of the death and forward a copy of the death certificate to have the policy paid to the beneficiary.
Notify all insurance companies including house insurance and car insurance of the death. Ensure that insurance is maintained make a list of all the assets and including stocks, bonds, pension funds, bank accounts, government investments, superannuation payments, holiday pay from work, work related life insurance or benefits for the spouse etc.
Are there any interests in partnerships or companies and locate shareholders and partnership agreements and provide a copy to the lawyer for his examination. (there may be triggering clauses in those agreements that must be met quickly)
In conjunction with discussions with the spouse,
Locate the previous several year's income tax returns and provide copies to the lawyer or tax accountant. These must be reviewed quickly to ensure that no filing dates are missed. Government tax authorities do not care that the person is deceased. The executor may be personally liable for any tax penalties that are incurred because filing dates are missed.
Pay the account of the funeral director. Your lawyer will tell you the priority of paying debts, but normally the funeral directors account is to be paid before most other debts.
Make a list of all debts. This will include accounts for charge cards, house utilities, property tax arrears, income tax arrears, loan payments, outstanding leases, mortgages on house or vehicles, alimony or prior separation agreement. Provide this list and supporting documentation to the lawyer.
Once all the assets have been located and the debts paid (including the account of the executor) then the estate will be disbursed in accordance with law and the terms of the Will. In many cases a sale of real estate and personal property may be necessary prior to distribution of the estate. This is where an Estate Settler representative will be invaluable. And since reasonable fees are allowed at no cost to you, the Estate will cover all the costs of Estate Settler.
You will need to advertise for creditors in the local newspaper to ensure that all the debts are known and paid.
Your lawyer will advise whether any court proceeding is required regarding the Will. This is called filing for Probate. Often if there is adequate tax advice at an earlier date, the requirement for Probate can be avoided. This will save the estate considerable money.
You will need to notify the beneficiaries about their bequest and provided there is money left after the payment of all debts, the beneficiaries will receive their money or assets from you as Executor of the estate.
You may need to open up a Bank Account in the name of the Estate at your local bank using a notarial copy of the Will (or Probate if required) together with a copy of the death certificate. Use a chequing account that you receive the cheques back so you can verify that you paid the funds if required at a later date
There are generally to powers of attorney, GDPOA or general durable power of attorney for all matters financial WHEN THE PERSON IS ALIVE - this expired upon death - and the DPAHC for durable power of attorney for healthcare for all mattershaving to do with medical and health decisions - this power does extend a bit past death in terms of being able to obtain medical records and disposition of physical remains, for example funeral arrangements, cremation, donation of body parts, etc. l am presuming (hoping) you have BOTH of these and that they were executed before your mom became incompetent with dementia (that way there would be less validity in a challenge unless you do something inappropriate in the managing of your mother's funds.
Being an executor only takes effect AFTER death and the purpose is to "execute" the deceased's wishes as stated in the will. If there is no will, neither of you would be executor. Depending on the value of your mothers estate at death, if its under a certain amount, you may be eligible for a simple filing in court that is not strictly probate and doesn't take as long. But without a trust, its court either way. And the judge what a point and administrator if there's no will. Each state has in their laws an order of succession for the heirs of a person who dies "intestate", meaning without a will. In your case, it would be split between you and your sister, the same as what your mother verbally say to you, so there should be no conflict. This leave your cousin out however so be aware of that.
If she were competent, your mother would be able to sign a personal services agreement to pay you and your cousin (assuming there are funds available) for work on her behalf as specified in the contract. As DGPOA, you would generally be allowed to sign contracts on behalf of your mom. This could get a little sticky as far as your sister might be concerned if you sign a contract to pay yourself but there shouldn't be a problem in signing a contract for a reasonable payment to your cousin. These contracts have specific wording that must be present to be considered an expense under Medicaid so if you decide to go this route, be sure to have an attorney draw up the contract.
If you are unsure about the presence of a will, then you probably know for sure there isn't a trust? The person in charge of the trusses call the trustee. The owner of the trust is called the settlor and during their lifetime, they are typically the beneficiary. The usual type of trust you its called a living trust and it is generally revocable, meaning it can be changed. At the time of incompetence or death, the revocable trust becomes irrevocable, meaning it can no longer be changed.
Sometimes, if a person petitions for conservatorship (aka guardianship) and it is granted, the conservator can petition the court to modify the trust and it may be granted. However, the trust as prepared by the owner (settlor) must already be in existence. Under your current circumstances, if you chose to petition for conservatorship, you would be spending the money to file and pay an attorney, your sister would have to be notified of the filing and the court date and she could object virtually no cost to her. A good reason to be sure you consult an attorney before you go in that direction.
Depending on which POAs you have, you have more power right now and any interference your sister wanted to bring, SHE would have to bear the cost of getting an attorney. Of course if she were in the position to claim financial or medical abuse are you or your cousin of your mom, she could drag in Adult Protective Services nearly by reporting you. They are required to investigate just based on suspicion.
When you say you have taken care of the funeral arrangements, I assume you paid for that out of your own pocket? Keep track of the things you and your cousin DO, as well as the things your sister DOESN'T do in addition to the things she says. Document, document, document. If you end up in court, the judge me a favor the fact that you've been very involved and find this favor in the fact that she hasn't. If she accuses you of something too strongly, the judge could appoint a paid it ministrator to handle it, cutting into yours and your sisters inheritance, something she may find unpalatable, so it may be good if she knows that before she tried to bring some kind of action, but perhaps don't give her too much information before it gets closer to your mother's passing. If you develop a good relationship with an elder care attorney, an explanation from an authoritative source could go a long way in staving off any arbitrary action by your sister.
Laws undoubtedly very in your state so it would be wise to have a consultation. If it were me, I would consider it moving any money in my moms name into a joint account with my mom, myself and my sister but without having my sister as a signator on the account. I would make sure that I kept very stringent records about every single penny being spent, which might be important to prove to your sister somewhere down the road that you did everything on the up n up but would also be important to show Medicaid in case your mom were to end up in a nursing home and they would need to do the five-year look back. This is just something I would consider doing, because at your moms death you and your sister would own that money jointly and it wouldn't be in your moms estate. You would still treated as her money in terms of paying her final bills.
Without knowing the laws in your state, this is just general information to familiarize yourself with the process. I hope it's informative but it's a complicated matter and it is best if you at least art by consulting an attorney for information.
I also do not know if it is mandatory for a will or Trust to be kept by the attorney or filed with the court system although I think it should be. The original that I have is the ONLY copy and if it is lost or house burns or someone gets hold of it and decides to get "creative" and make changes, there is no original filed somewhere that shows what was originally intended. Of course I am in CA and I do not know if it is the same in every state.
If your POA is legal then you basically hold all the cards right now and you can do as you wish to keep your Mom in her home until the day she dies. Your POA ends when she dies. If your sister continues to insist that the house be sold tell her that you all (siblings) need to go to a Family Law Attorney who knows about Medicaid and let him explain the pros and cons of selling her house. If your sister tries to sell it before Mom dies, she cannot legally do it and she could face legal problems by even trying.
You have a good heart and I understand why you want Mom at home. God Bless you All!
If she doesn't have a will, her assets will go into probate and be divided between her children. If she goes into a nursing facility there won't be much left to divide.
Your sister either is ignorant of the cost of nursing facilities or she really thinks it is the best place for you mother. You two need to have a frank conversation and get your facts straight. Good luck
My 91 year old mother just agree last week to make a will. she does not own any property and has very little money but still probating an estate without a will is costly and will take a year to settle. With your mother owing a home, you could have used one. But, you will have to deal with it as the time comes. I just hope she does not lose everything with a long and drawn out illness. My Mother is not going down hill fast and we hope to take her next week to get a will made or she may be to incompetent to do one.
My warm wishes and prayers are with you.
Sunny:)
I do hope you get this done while you still can. Even if there is an old one and since it cannot be found, I would draw a new one, since you have power of attorney and it will supersede any previous one. I know it must be so frustrating not knowing. Will your mother not discuss it or would she keep it from you if she made a will with your sister was the executor? Just more reason to discuss it with your Mother and make a new one.
Warm wishes and hope you can get this settled for your peace of mind.
Sunny:)
If this is the case, then the state would select someone, family or anyone to make sure the will is fully executed. It would also pay that person to be the administrator over the will. But, if your mother has never made and funeral arrangement, there is a good chance there is no will. I hope since you are taking care of your mother, she would tell you. And no one can take her money or other assets without a will or the courts permission. So, if you could get her to sign a will, I would make a new one since you cannot find it. That will then supersede any other will and put you in charge.
I understand your urgency and concern on this matter and suggest you do get legal advice but a new will would solve your problem, provided her doctor will state she is competent to sign it.
I hope you can resolve this soon.
Sunny:)
Good luck!
As POA do you have it over her finances or over her healthcare? I don't know how you got it but if it is a legal document then you are in charge for now and you can keep her in her home until she dies, unless your sister decides to file for guardianship over her. This however is long, drawn out and very expensive. I personally do not understand why your sister would want her in a home if she is being taken care of by you and your cousin and does not need nursing home care.
You may need to speak to your sister or see if a cousin might speak with her and find out if she does know about an existing will or Trust. If your Mom has an attorney you could ask him but chances are you have already looked everywhere and are finding nothing.
I would say go and see a Family Law Attorney a lot of them offer 1 hour free consultations. Write down your questions and go ask them, there is also a site called Avvo.com where you can ask questions and get answers for free.
If your sister wants to sell Mom's home and if Mom is on Medicaid then she is going to cause a lot of problems. If your Mom becomes very ill and has to go into a nursing home in the future and she has Medicaid, they will make you pay every cent from the sale of the house for her care because she can only have $2000 in assets but she can keep her home and it won't count for now.
Please go see an attorney and let them help you sort this out!
Best Wishes to you and your Mom!