How can I get my husband off the daily driving rants?
After over a year of not driving my 82 year old husband with ALZ still will not relent on the subject, where's my keys, where''s my car, daily, all day, it is driving me crazy.
Make him feel good about himself. Thank him for all the years that he did the driving, that he did a tremendous job, and now he can relax, and let you do the driving now. It's your turn to take over the job, and make him feel pampered--tell him you're taking him out on a "date", then take him out to lunch, and make it a special time. I hope this could work! I know, though, what's it's like to have a husband dwelling on the same thing all day long, and sometimes every day! Instead of saying.."if you ask me that one more time......", I go into another room, and pray. Good luck, dear !
I have already sold the car, so an actual car is not the problem, it is still wanting his own car & where is HIS car is the problem, I like your answer Kabeena, I don't want to talk about this anymore. He is on Zoloft & Ativan but that still does not remove the thoughts about a car.
Is there a way to disable the car that he won't be able to figure out or fix (and that you can easily un-disable when you need to drive it)? If so, you can reduce the amount of talking about the car on your part. He starts up on the subject, you say, "I can't get it to start. Maybe you can." and hand him the keys. If he can't do any damage or hurt himself, let him go out and try to start the car. That will occupy him for a while, and might convince him more than you just telling him it doesn't work. If he continues talking about it after that, give him answers like CarolLyn described. If he is still driving you crazy, do what I would finally do. Say, "I can't talk about this any more" and make that your broken record response to any mention of the car.
The broken record technique from your end should work on this one. No matter what he asks, if it's about the car, your answer is: "We can't drive it till its fixed." You can slightly alter your answer if it makes it easier or more interesting for you. Where's my car? It's getting fixed. What's wrong with it? Don't know, I'm not a mechanic. Where's my keys? With the car getting fixed. What do you mean, it's right there in the garage? They haven't picked it up to fix it yet. Get the idea. Make a game out of it for you and you won't be as frustrated.
My father did the same thing and was a professional truck driver all his life. We just had to remind him that he no longer drove. We told him he didn't drive anymore and there was no truck or keys. BTW, he was placed on Depakote and really seems to help calm his mood.
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