I was diagnosed with CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia) some years ago. Went through 3 rounds of chemo and my blood has been doing well for about 3 years now. The latest tests show that it is inching its way back into my body. My mother, 91 years old, lives in a retirement-assisted living facility. I do her bill paying, shopping, prescription management, laundry and whatever comes up. With the CLL lurking around again, I am at a loss as to where to start. I am an only child with no children of my own (65 years old). The facility she lives in now is expensive and I have very limited funds myself.
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In both cases I have a professional fiduciary as the successor trustee. She would step in to handle my Mom's affairs if I were no longer able and she needed assistance. (This takes care of things if you predecease your Mom or just are not able to perform necessary duties - whether mentally or physically - you just allow fiduciary to become trustee). PFAC in California is where I found trustee I have named - in case we outlive her - contingency allows for another member of PFAC to take her place. She is licensed and bonded to handle financials and will see that Mom or you receive care you need according to terms of trust. You just need to get trust done and fiduciary named.
Much more reliable than family members - not to mention more trustworthy.
Also, you will want to name caregiver of choice (whether AL or NH or private care). Hopefully you will outlive Mom, but I don't want to leave my Mom without care - you never know when your time will be up - even if you aren't sick it's better to be prepared. - Or worse yet - if you don't make arrangements and then the courts have to decide what should be done.
I prefer to take care of my own.
Hopefully you'll have many years ahead of you yet and you will outlive your mom, but you're doing the right thing by planning ahead in case the worse should happen. Your mom is lucky to have you! Best of success to your endeavors.
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I am no expert by any means - these are just the basics I would start with. There is a lot of excellent reference material on this site under the Money & Legal tab, so you should check that out also.
Perhaps your Mother has an estate that can be liquidated? I know 2 different families that have hired auctioneers to do that, recently.
I hope that you get some more answers from the others, on this site, soon.