How do we take the car away when she refuses to give it up?

Oh my God - I didn't realize she was driving to bars on top of it all!!! The next time (if there is a next time, which hopefully there won't be!) you or your brother call and ask the police to intervene and they refuse, ask for badge numbers (which they legally have to give you when asked) and inform them when someone gets hurt or killed as a result of their inability to do their job, they will be held personally responsible. Maybe that will change their tune! Ridiculous!!

Wow, I can't believe the cops aren't more help! If she winds up killing someone, I'd think you could sue the city. I'd try sending a registered/notarized letter to the chief of police to tell him the situation. Threaten to go to the mayor or city council next. Make sure you say that your mom is drinking and driving without a valid license and that the police are aware of that and won't intervene. It's a huge liability waiting to happen for someone. Good luck with hiding the keys.

The only way I can think to seriously tackle this is to disable the car, then have it towed in for repairs. Find somewhere to leave the car so that it never comes home again. You can tell her the repairs are taking a long, long time. She may get suspicious after a while, but she is going to hurt someone. To make it worse, she doesn't have a license, so can't be insured, so the cost will all be on the victim if she does hurt them.

It bothers me so much to hear of an 83 year old woman driving to a bar to drink. She must be lonely. I wish older people could all get together like the Golden Girls to share the late years. It is sad to be alone.

We've called the police several times & they are really no help at all. They went to the bar where she was drinking & told her she better not drive, but wouldn't do anything else. My brother begged them to stop her after she got in the car, but she's a little old lady & they just wouldn't do it. We have hidden her keys for now. Thanks for your suggestions & encouragement.

I would not suggest that you "donate" her car without her signature on the title - that could open a huge legal can of worms.

You're not going to get her to agree so you have to simply take control of the situation so she stops putting other people at risk. This is what I had to do with my mother. It wasn't fun, but it was the right thing to do. I simply took the keys, called a charity, and had them pick up the car. Good luck!

Remove the battery

This is really a tough question. One more suggestion would be to talk to the police ahead of time about it so that they know you're going to call them while she's driving. If they could pull her over and ticket her or tow her car away and take her to the police station, kind of a "Scared Straight" scenario, would that do the trick? I wonder if the court can make her give up her car? You really need to find a way to stop her, as she's risking other people's lives.

Thanks for the replies. She ignores her doctors - in fact, 2 of them have refused to sign the DMV forms saying she is fit to drive. Declaring her incompetent in her State would cost thousands (per attorney) and DPOA can only be used if she is. We'll disable the car - we'll have to do significant things to it, because she has "friends" who can effect repairs.

....in the meantime, pull the distributor cap from the car ;)

You need to speak to her doctor, and her doctor can tell her under no uncertain terms that she is not to drive anymore. Sometimes hearing it from the doctor carries more weight with people in that generation...it's worth a shot anyways. Otherwise, the only suggestion I have is to have her declared incompetent if no one has DPOA, but if she has all of her wits about her, it might be difficult to do. Talk to her doctor first.

You do the right thing and take her keys from her. Blow her tires out. Have a mechanic tinker with her car so the car doesn't start. Seriously. Your Mom is being highly irresponsible and selfish. Who has POA? If no one, you need to bring her to your attorney now and get it done.