Mom's live in caregiver has been fired, refuses to pack and move, return garage door opener & keys to house. What do we do?

Castle.. nobody is rushing to PUSH someone out. Our comments are based on the initial question/comment that was posted based on the assumption that Jacobs did speak with the caregiver in a "structured" conversation. You nor I know what the reasons are for the caregiver being fired but the facts are that the person was asked to leave and won't. So further action needs to be taken. With all due respect I found your comment to be a bit condescending.

Call the agency they work for, or if not agency then call the cops! You certainly don't need to be worried about this individual on top of all your other responsibilities!

I cannot imagine that by structured conversation you cannot resolve the issues and come to an agreement the person will honor. I find it so troubling that so many people rush to any means to PUSH someone out instead of focusing first on steps to understand the situation from the other person's perspective. People follow contracts and laws, and ultimately, that is the ultimate decision maker - but the perspectives are so disparate from caregiver to family members in so many instances, and many times, the fragile person plays to one and also plays to the other, or those two parties meet very different needs of the same person. I understand rights and schemes and illegal issues, and abuse, all those possibilities. But society rushes to that perspective, and a caregiver has no one to speak for them. My suggestion is to give her a written notice, but put a section on it asking for her opinion. It cannot hurt to hear it, and you may learn something. You can THEN see if she says anything that would change your mind, or tell her you appreciate her perspective but will stick to your decision, be honest and say that you want things done differently, or you want different communication or whatever is the issue, and call in whatever troops you find necessary to enforce it.

You might want to consider offering this person a small settlement or severance payment. Perhaps they have nowhere to go and need an inducement to leave peacefully and willingly. Might be easier in the long run than putting your mom through the trauma of police intervention.

I'm assuming this issue is in California. Once anyone stays in your home 30 days, they become a tenant even at a hotel. Then landlord tenant laws kick in. Assuming the caregiver worked and lived in the home over 30 days, you're now her landlord. You'll have to follow the eviction procedures. Don't due anything stupid or the caregiver will end up suing you for damages and will win in court. Call an attorney, get legal advice not the advice of this website on this issue. Next time have a short agreement drawn up stating that after the caregiver's services are no longer needed, they will be given 7 (pick a reasonable #) days to vacate the property. You need to have something in writing. Right now you have a "verbal" rental agreement whether she's paying rent or not. I'm going thru a similar situation where I have to evict the caregiver from my mother's home. Thank God my mother lives in my home. We exchanged caregiver services for my mother's home. Now that we have terminated the services, she won't pay rent, per our verbal agreement or move. I had to file an Unlawful detainer and we'll be in court soon. Subsequently, the Sheriff will remove her if she doesn't move after we get the court order. Whatever you do, follow the "law" or face serious consequences. This is probably not the first time she has done this, and she probably doesn't have the finances to get a place. We previously had a live-in with my mother but I had a written agreement stating that she would be given 10 days to vacate after her services were terminated. Using the word "fired" is harsh. No one wants to be fired. I always tell the caregiver we can't afford you anymore, or some other story to gracefully let them go. On the other hand remember, these people do the work that "we don't want to do" and should be treated with dignity and respect. And you're not dealing with white collar professional people. They have a different mind-set. Call an attorney and find out what the proper way of getting this person out of your home. If you're on speaking terms, then let her know you don't want to go to court because it will end up on her credit report. Ask can she leave in 7 days, if she says no, ask why? Like one of the other persons stated, she may not have the finances. Caregivers live from pay check to paycheck --- with no benefits. That's my take.

Thanks, Macada for the gentle but clear way of suggesting my comment was a bit condescending. I apologize for that risk - and yet I would still make my comment to add in a hesitating voice, for I find a widespread trend for people to look to the law to deal with matters of goodwill - and I believe we underestimate the vastness of different experiences in our society, and how gigantic gaps lead to millions of misunderstandings, across culture, class, race, generation, sometimes gender - and that it is not so easy to hear alternative sides in the middle of contention. I've worked years in home care and find that different caregivers bring different talents, most trying to help. Families also care, but have many different vantage points, degrees of distance across time and location, different relationships with their parents, even differences among siblings. So when it comes to supervising caregivers, some of those gaps in perspectives come in - I'm not condemning use of the law but I didn't hear any comments asking why the caregiver refused to leave. I know, it's not her right, she's a hired employee, and all the rights are with those who hired her. I just didn't hear any word in the original question or subsequent comments, about what process the caregiver would expect, in terms of ejecting her. Many assume that structured conversations have taken place, and maybe I should have mentioned that possibility and spoken less broadly.

Change the locks and get law enforcement involved. Find out if it is legal for you to put this person's belongings outside.

mejia89 I find your comment "you're not dealing with white collar professional people. They have a different mind-set" very offensive! I may not be a "white collar professional" but I consider myself a "professional" caregiver! I am a student with one semester left before I obtain my degree in Human Services. What exactly do you mean by "they are of a different mind-set?" Very insulting to all Caregivers! Us Caregivers do do the work that family members won't do, they find it beneath them, yet we don't insult them. Next time you post your opinions, choose your words carefully!

We really don't know what the situation is, the details and so forth. What was the reason for your mom not wanting her? Abuse and/or danger is totally unnecessarily to assume, as many of us here jumped to the conclusion. Maybe your mom just doesn't like her anymore, or had mood changes, or didn't want to do something prescribed by a doctor that caregiver attempted to do; the reasons could be endless. This can happen to the next caregiver, and the next one after that, and so on and so forth; even you might be the next one in line. You might want to look into the causes.

In any case, if your mom want her caregiver to leave, so be it. However, you want to do this amicably. Put yourself in the caregiver's shoes; apparently she was a live-in, and now is requested to leave immediately without a notice. Had she worked for a company, she would've been given a 2-week notice at least. Offer her some compensation. She is practically thrown out in the street without a proper notice. The courts might view her as a tenant so you need to give her a notice.

Don't accuse her of any wrongdoing if you know for the fact there weren't any. Ditto for the danger.

Depends on where you live. In NYC a person who has been in residence for 30 days could be considered their legal residence. If the caregiver receives mail there, that is ammunition against you. You may have to go to court and evict the caregiver. Check the laws in our city/state first before you remove her. You may be able to do this online. You don't want to be charged with illegal eviction and possibly pay an exorbitant fine. (In NYC illegal eviction can very costly.)