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babysheltie Asked August 2013

My 83 yr old dad can't see or hear much anymore. I take him to the doc alot and he is not flexible on time or days. What can I do?

I use my time and gas to take him to appts. He rarely says thanks and expects me to accommodate his schedule. He says the same things 30 time or more in one visit. I go home from these appts frustrated and angry. I have a family member that lives a couple of miles away, but he and my dad are fighting and barely speak. So it gets dumped on me. What can I do?

vw9729 Aug 2013
I'm sorry your dad is frustrating you. Understandably so though. But with what little information I have to go on - it sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart chat with dad and inform him that you are unable to be at his beck and call every second he needs you. And you're going to have to explain to him you need money for gas and set boundaries as to how much your dad can rely on you and for what. If he is using you for transportation, he needs to work around your schedule and whether you are available - not the other way around. It's nice that you're doing this for him, but he is taking advantage of you. Caregiving is extremely hard by itself without extra burden of accomodating to his schedule to 7 different doctors. If he is requiring this much attention, it may be time to start looking for an assisted living facility for him. If he's not good with an assisted living facility, then he needs to be advised he will most probably have to start using public transportation then if he wants to come and go as he pleases without working things out with the family. Good luck!!

babysheltie Aug 2013
My dad has 7 doctors. I don't know about dementia or if he has nothing better to say. My dad would never take public transportation. I think senior van service would be great for him, but he wouldn't do it. I called my family member and he is going to look at the sheet full of appts. I hope he will help but...

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assandache7 Aug 2013
What does his Dr have to say about his health? Does he recommend hearing aids? Does he have dementia?

Can he take public transportation or a senior van service to his appointments?

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