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andreasb228 Asked August 2013

How can I get mom to be okay with moving to a group home? She's 94 with dementia.

She's lived on her own for 10 years plus, moved here from Richmond, didn't want to move here, now in a Senior apt but no assistance, I do everything and its time to do something different. She needs more care, attention, gets turned around, what day is it? who's coming to get me (we work)? sits outside at the apt all day, waiting for someone, I don't get there until 5. needs personal hygiene and reminders re wearing a Depend. She doesn't trust folks thinks everyone will steal or even the lady at the group home could rape her. WHAT? OMG...... I have prayed over this, I have searched many group homes and feel good abot this one... run by a Christian woman, plus she has 2 other group homes that are full. I got a good vibe from her. Home is very nice. We have visited, she said she would go for one week. Gee. the GH lady said not to protest, just go with that as a start. What to do? In my heart, I know its the right thing, don't want her to fall or something else happen then what? I called the church today and the minister said she would come by and talk to her, but with the dimentia, she said she could still bring it up again.....She moves Friday. I try and bring it up every day so she won't forget, then yesterday she said I never would have thought my daughter would be involved in such. Involved in what? Pls pray for me and her too. I feel sick to my stomach. I know in my heart its the right thing but I just want her to be ok with it too. Too much to ask? Anyone got any words of wisdom.

Perseverance Aug 2013
By moving your mom into a home where she can get the appropriate level of care needed demonstrates your love for your Mom and understanding of her growing needs. No matter where your Mom resides, you must still advocate for her. Check out reviews online (yelp.com and other - just google the name of organization + reviews) and once she is placed, visit her at irregular times to check in and see her treatment and how she is fairing.

We need to do what we can and PRAY and trust the LORD for His protection of our loved ones. I pray for my Mom's caregivers frequently.

lsmiami Aug 2013
You are doing all you can. You have searched or a good home. At 94 very few people would NOT require full time attendance. She will forget, you will need to be patient and repeat and reassure her, She may rebel, you will need to be strong and reassure yourself, this is in her best interest.

Sounds like a nice lady and strong family, maybe you can appeal to her maternal sense, by telling her that this arrangement will help you to care for her and know she is secure.

Hold on to your faith

God Bless,
L

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