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eliza77home Asked August 2013

Does this give me DPOA?

ACCEPTANCE OF TRUST
You have been appointed an Attorney-in-Fact ("Agent") under a Durable Power of
Attorney ("POA") by (the "Principal") {my parents} who has great trust in your ability to
handle numerous financial and legal matters for the Principal.
It is very important that you act as Agent in a manner which is strictly for the benefit of
the Principal rather than for yourself. Any actions which you take on behalf of the Principal
should be made in a prudent manner and it is recommended that the actions always be taken
following a discussion with the Principal, if the Principal is available and not incapacitated.
Records of all transactions should be kept by you and should be kept separate from your own
personal or business records. All funds collected or expended on behalf of the Principal must be
accounted for and should never be mixed with your own personal or business funds.
All actions which you take on behalf of the Principal should be recorded in some
permanent form, for example a permanent notebook with entries by date. All correspondence,
financial institution records, cancelled checks, etc., should be retained by you in a safe place. The
POA imposes on you the obligation to provide information and accountings as set forth in the
document. By signing this Acceptance of Trust you agree to provide such accounts and
information. Your activities as agent may also be subject to review by a court oflaw.
Please also note that this POA continues even if the Principal becomes incapacitated
physically or mentally. However, the POA ceases at the moment of the death of the principal.
Therefore, no further actions should be taken by an Agent after the death of the Principal,
The undersigned acknowledges that he or she has read the above responsibilities of an
Agent and agrees to abide by them.


I and two of my brothers and one SIL signed this form for each of my parents back in 2011, with our parents Attorney.
Does this give me DPOA? Would I be Co-DPOA?

ramblinrosey Sep 2013
Eliza, Raven1 said it perfectly!!!!

Stressed52 Sep 2013
Eliza: Mine Specifically States "Durable Power of Attorney" all across the top but it specifically states only me as her "agent" and "attorney in fact." My two sisters are then listed as ALTERNATE AGENTS, ONE AT A TIME. The next person only becomes agent when the previous one resigns.

If you and everyone else are listed together where it says, "hereby appoints..." then I would say you are all acting as joint or co-agents with no one person holding any higher position than the others.

If it says, "hereby appoints.....Eliza...." and no one else is listed next to you, then you are most likely the DPOA and the others listed below you in another paragraph are alternates.

You need to call your parents attorney and ask him to clarify this matter for you to be absolutely sure.

Parents many times not wanting to anger or cause discord within the family will put several people together like this to act jointly, which only winds up causing a mess because getting a consensus on everything is hard to do. It is better to just appoint one person who is fair and looking out for your best interests and list the others as alternates.

Let me just throw this in Eliza, if I was the person on the ground and in the trenches, day in and day out and was basically the true "caregiver," I might be a bit ticked at you that you come rushing into town for a short time and now all the sudden you want to be making the decisions, when I am the person here, handling Mom and Dad and their home and health issues every single day. I would feel that I have a better handle on what needs to be done, not you, because I live this every single day with the parents.

You are going to need to be careful here. You are not the full time caregiver but you do have a right to voice your opinion, but you need to talk this out quietly with the other DPOA's and jointly make a decision on keeping the parents home, doing repairs to it and caring for both of them. Don't just storm in there and start throwing orders, this will not bode well with the others who are there every single day!

None of this is easy! Take Care!!

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butterflykisses Sep 2013
I would also add - get the Health Care POA; the things you have now will not work when it comes to taking care of their medical needs i.e. hospice, surgery, etc. Don't be silent about anything - that's where too many siblings take over and because no one says anything contrary, they think they are right and the power to do what they want; not always necessarily what is right for the parents. Please talk to an Elder Law Attorney - your parents' welfare and safety is of utmost importance; if they need bars, bath tub assists, whatever, you must insist and if that does not work, then call Adult Protective Services and they will help get done what needs to be done. Best wishes and hugs. Your parents' needs come first...

akdaughter Sep 2013
Did your parents sign this document? My POA for my mother was signed by her in the presence of a notary who stamped and signed it. My signature was not required. It would seem to me that the document you printed here was outlining your responsibilities if you were acting as agent, and by signing it you agreed to act according to these instructions and provide the required documentation. I would try to find out if your parents signed anything allowing any of you to actually act as POA. Appointing multiple people to act as "joint POAs" is usually a nightmare. This is different than alternate or successor POA appointments.

ramblinrosey Sep 2013
Like I said see if the word "alternate" is used , if not you all may be equal in decision making.Here is how ours is worded; hereby appoint my Daughter....,as my true+lawful agent and attorney,hereinafter my "attorney-in-fact" for me in my name.place and stead for the following purposes:...
Towards end my brother shows up:Alternate Attorney-in-fact-Upon the death, resignation or inability of the Attorney-in-fact named herin, I appoint my son......as Alternate Attorney-in-fact to act as my agent....
So I am#1 in command and he would be 2nd, tho he seems to think he's in charge even now(to keep the peace I say nothing, but when and if I need to do my job his input will taken into consideration but i'll make the decisions.)

ramblinrosey Sep 2013
DPOA and POA are differnt- one gives you control only IF the elder cannot make their own decisions as when they are sick in hospital or legally diagnosed with soething that affects their ability to make decisions.POA means they no longer can make their own decisions and the POA is in complete charge.
In my case(DPOA) I am the 1st in line to make decisions for dad,BUT if i don't want to or cannot(out of country, state or no way to contact then my brother the Alternate would have final say. If you ALL are equal as alternates then you have to handle it as a group.
If one or both of your parents are of sound mind(by med prof opinion) then they are still in charge of all decisions for themself and their spouse. At least this is my understanding.
We hired a Geriatric care manager for Dad who helps mediate our family diff and keeps a sharp eye on his health(Bro and I are out of state) Dad also has a live in caregiver. He has allowed me to take over bill pay as he has trouble writing checks and i was having to do a 600mi RT everyother week to shop or pay bills. He still has final say on all things pertaining to him, much to our chagrin at times.
As far as handicap aides(showers,walkers,in home help- get the MD's to write it up as a need- then the others will have no leway but to do what is recomended for parents saftey.

markey Sep 2013
Does "alternate" give this person the same power as the POA?

ramblinrosey Sep 2013
My father also named me as Attorney in fact with my brother being the "alternate" if I could not or would not be available to act on his behalf. Double check and see if there is any phrases like that(whether one or the other were named as "alternate".

ramblinrosey Sep 2013
I have a DPOA for my dad in NJ and i was told it is only valid if he becomes incapatictated and cannot make decisions on his own. A Power of Attorney tho is different and that means you have full charge over the elders wishes. One is for emergency's only and one overides at all times(sort of like guardian).
I do pay Dad's bills and so on but on any decision's as repairs, sales of possesions he still has final say as he is still mentally competant. That is the key word, mental competance.

eliza77home Aug 2013
MORE: I never gave it a thought over the past few years because Mom and dad were doing so well but things have gone down hill for the two of them since spring. I am not around 24/7 because I live two states away, but the one brother and SIL are around to help with the day to day stuff (pay bills, med forms, the house, etc)
I spent the summer with my dad at home as mom has been in a nursing home after a fall and broke her hip. She is doingok, but is working (PT and OT) on getting strong enough to come home, and should be getting home this fall/winter we are told.
But my time over the summer showed me what’s been going on. The one brother and the SIL that signed this along with me, think they have control over things. They think what gives them the right is the fact that they do all the day to day things and since I live far off I should not interfere with how they do things. They make it out like they have DPOA over the rest of us.

Example, I tried to get a handicap type of shower into the house over the summer as the one in the home now is bad for both to get in and out of (Dad fell twice in it and had to call 911 for help) and the OT wants to see something better in the house for when mom gets home. The SIL and brother did not like the idea of a shower at all (wants to sell the house). But dad and mom still want to keep the house, for now. It took me all summer to get the point across that this is the parents home and money and if they want a better shower let’s spend the parents money to get it done. One excuse after another later, a contractor will be doing it first in a week and a half, then in two weeks (as of two days ago
I had to come home mid Aug to get my kids ready for school or I would have stayed longer to help work this out. The brother and SIL found the contractor, even though our oldest brother found someone that would have done it two weeks ago and for less money than the contractor we have now…

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