Dad was recently sent home after spending many days in the hospital, then many more at a nursing facility for post-op rehab.. He had early-stage dementia when he left, but now that he's home, his condition is much worse.. He has been home for 2 weeks and shows signs of depression and extreme confusion..
I am hoping he adjusts, but how do I know if he is going through a period of adjustment or if the dementia is getting worse..? I feel he no longer wants to be of this world.. What are your experiences at the end of the disease, and what can I expect..?
Thanks all, this is very helpful and therapeutic..
10 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Dementia is progressive. And some days (and times of day) are worse than others. Routine and a serene environment seem to work well for mom to help her be the best she can be. I remind her daily that her mind is tricking her . . . at this stage, she gets that. Makes it a lot easier.
Everyone's dementia symptoms are different. Find a solution for each problem as it arises. This is a great site to get that kind of information because so many of us are walking the walk.
Use this time to decide what you're going to do when it gets too much. Investigate your options. Get a complete handle on his financial situation and what extra care will cost - as well as whether or not he can afford nursing home care or assisted living with extras. This will give you peace of mind. Guaranteed.
ADVERTISEMENT
My father passed away several years ago, due to a drug-resistant strain of pneumonia. My mother is well and mostly happy, although her dementia has been progressing slowly. Her mental state tends to be quite good in the mornings, but her memory and her understanding tend to fade rapidly after lunchtime along with her energy. Some days she is quite sharp, others she wants to nap most of the day; it is quite unpredictable.
I am lucky to have found very good home-care-aides for my mother, who are well-trained and have many years of experience in this work. We try to maintain a regular routine for my mother as this helps her to feel that she knows what to expect all the time, and she is even able to "give orders" by "reminding" her aide what is next on her daily schedule. My father was given Aricept to help with his memory, but in his case it didn't seem to help - each patient is unique. I still recommend having your father seen by a psychiatrist and/or a geriatric specialist, so see which medications might be most effective at improving his emotional and cognitive well-being. Sometimes it is necessary to try different drugs, each for a month or more, before finding the one drug or the combination that works best.
My experience is that caring for someone who is in the advanced stages of aging is a bit like caring for a small child in reverse. As with children, the changes are not steady and not predictable; just when you think you have learned what to do, they change and you have to adjust to their changes. Often it is a day-by-day process; sometimes it can be several weeks or months before you have to deal with the next change. My own experience has been that the most difficult time is when the dementia has become severe enough for the patient to be aware of it but still mild enough that the patient is struggling to deny it or fight it. In the later stages, most patients become calmer as their memories become more limited, and they becomes accustomed to relying on others. Much as a one-year old usually allows themself to be cared for, while a three-year-old will struggle to be independent.
In our ten-year journey with my husband's dementia (Lewy Body) he was hospitalized 3 times. Each time he had to first recover from the ailment and then recover from the hospital experience. In took many weeks. Each time a well-meaning medical professional told me not to expect him to fully recover to his former baseline. And each time he did recover to his former baseline. You won't know what your dad's case will be until it plays out.
Dementia is progressive. It gets worse over time. Sometimes events can trigger a faster decline, but sometimes that kind of decline is temporary. In some ways it might be easier if we knew exactly what to expect, exactly how long the current situation would last, and what will come next. But that is not reality -- at least not the reality we experienced.
Continue to love your dad, to make him comfortable, to work toward his happiness. Take each day as it comes. That is all we can really do.
If there's no drug interaction problem, Ask his doctor about an antidepressant. As long as he is still alive and aware, try to keep him somewhat happy.
It must be so sad and scary to see what he's going through. Best wishes.
It is hard to predict the course dementia will take. Some people become happy and easy to live with, though forgetful and confused. Others take the opposite route and become frightened or angry. Some people progress quickly, and others don't. It is difficult to tell you what to expect. You just have to play it a day at a time.
It isn't unusual for people with dementia to become worse when they are in the hospital. If he is very depressed, talk to his doctor to see what might help with this. I hope this straightens out soon. Let us know how it goes.