Dad continues to refuse to eat, we started feeding him ourselves. What can I do?

I would get him to a doctor. My dad when through a similar scenario: he was in the hospital for blood clots in his legs. He was released but the next day began to complain that his stomach hurt & he refused to eat. Two days later he had a follow up appointment with his cardiologist. She listened to his symptoms, referred him to doctors at the hospital, & they ran tests. Turns out dad had an infected gallbladder w/ stones. He is still being treated for it but is on the mend. For your peace of mind & your dad's health get it checked out.

Try severak snacks throughout the day, instead of large meals.

Sometimes after a surgery the digestive system can get confused. Happened to me after a major surgery one time. My doctor prescribed a temporary medication
to get things in sync again, and it worked. You can wait a few days to see if things improve...if not, or if you notice he's losing weight or becomes weak, take him to the doc.

When my husband "wasn't hungry" and complained that his tummy felt "full" his geriatrician prescribed something that would help with that feeling. It helped, but mostly the desire to eat came back on its own. This is something to discuss with Dad's doctor. If it is likely to be temporary and related to his recovery from surgery and the drugs he is on, then just giving him whatever he wants to eat and waiting it out may be best. But do see what his doctor says.

I am a HUGE advocate of hospice. My experience with hospice with my husband was awesome. BUT ... hospice is for end-of-life situations. If his doctors thought he was at that point I don't think they would have subjected him to implanting a stent. When the time comes, please do consider hospice care. Nothing you have written makes it sound like now is the time.

Keep up your good work!

What does Dad's doctor recommend to eat?

Medication can cause this, he may not be accustomed to the food the way you prepare it or like the types of meals you prepare (especially if his wife was an old-school cook using lard, fatback, etc. for flavor). Another stresser could be that he's away from his long time wife. He may simply be giving up, or there could be more going on with his health than you're aware. Has he had a complete physical lately? How's his potassium, calcium, vitamin and hormone levels? Does he have an ulcer that's new? If his stomach isn't right, have it checked. Be sure there's nothing physically wrong with him that a simple medication change wouldn't fix.

Have you thought about taking him to see his wife during meal time, wherever she is, and let them eat together? I don't agree with jumping to hospice just yet, as hospice is end-life care and it hasn't been determined his life is over. I think this is more depression, especially if he and his wife were comfortable in their lifestyle before she broke her foot and he had to move out. I may be reading between the lines but it sounds like he had remarried and that he and his second wife have been separated by two families both trying to do the right thing for their parent but inadvertently not considering the long term emotional effects of separating them. If nothing else, see if you can work with the wife's family and get the two of them into a nursing facility together. That way, costs can be split between ALL the siblings for the two to be together and live comparably to how they lived before her foot accident. Or, could the siblings take turns, working out a schedule so that someone is with the two of them in their home at all times? Sort of a commune for the couple? I may be way off here, but I just don't think it's time to write him off, I think it's time for him to visit his wife.

And by all means, I agree, give the man anything he wants to eat. For a solid year, my Mom would only eat Mayfield Neopolitan Ice Cream - that's it. And it couldn't be a different brand or different flavor. She'd never eaten ice cream in her life, hated it, go figure. But it saved her life while her medications were adjusted and since her taste buds had just basically died, something she'd never eaten before suddenly was the only thing she could enjoy.

God Bless you for what you're trying to accomplish! You've done so much already and never doubt that what you've done is from the heart and in your Dad's best interest! Your Dad's health and safety is foremost and you've done a fantastic job so far!

If this is sudden, its something about his pneumonia, or pills, or depression from the surgery. Call his cardiologist and run it by them. And, if he eats when fed, great! Anything he wants, but with pneumonia I wouldnt recommend anything creamy or milky as it doesnt mix with phlegm and might get his coughing. It might be as simple as needing pecid or tums so ask the doctor please and best of luck.

I TOTALLY agree with pstiegman...hospice is a wonderful idea...I am using a good caring service. they will send a nurse, doctor, etc, all covered by medicare....He will benefit, and so will you.

Give him ANYTHING THAT HE WANTS: ice cream, milkshakes, cookies.
Try the drinks with supplements, like Ensure, Boost. Is he having any trouble with swallowing?

Call the MD and ask him to recommend a HOSPICE care agency in your area. I see several located in Ben Wheeler TX that can help you. They will do an evaluation if the MD authorizes one, and determine what Dad needs, and whether or not his digestive system is shutting down.

Have him eat yogurt with the antibiotics. Since this is a new symptom, if it is not the antibiotics, I would get him to the Dr to see if something else is going on.

When you say his stomach feels bad, do you mean he feels nauseated or has pain? Is your dad on antibiotics for his pneumonia, or was it viral (where antibiotics don't work)? If he's on antibiotics, I'd talk to the doctor about trying another one, since they can have some pretty strong side effects and some can bother the stomach. Try to make sure your dad gets enough fluids - soups, juices, fruit...until he starts to feel a bit better.