My mum needs to get POA, she wants to buy a chair. HELP?

Debralee, I was just recently made Durable POA for my uncle (Financial & Medical). The document specifically states IMMEDIATE & DURABLE. That means the powers are effective immediately upon signing, and mental or physical competency has no bearing on it. According to that wording, I can exercise my powers without waiting for him to become mentally incompetent or physically incapacitated. At the moment, my Uncle is demanding large sums of money to keep in his wallet. He has no big ticket items or needs to spend it on, and cannot even go out without me (legally blind, hard of hearing, and can barely walk-uses a cane poorly). Somehow he manages pretty well inside his little apt - boggles my mind. But he is noticeably failing physically-walks like a snail, and mentally showing poor reasoning abilities and poor judgement. As a consequence, I have taken on more and more duties to enable him to remain in his apt. Latest fiasco - he wants ALL of this month's pension check! He is sorry he made me POA, and next week we are going back to the lawyer to have a serious discussion. Since I still have to pay the bills, and make sure there is money set aside in the bank to pay for future in-home care, I flatly refused to cash that check and deposited it into his bank account. As POA I must document every cent of his money, and how could I prove that I actually gave him that money if I cashed the check?? Medicaid would put me through a wringer when the day comes. I am positive I made the right decision, and after talking to the lawyer next week, I will let you all know if she concurs that I should take the amount of control over his $ that I am doing at the moment. BTW - he has sufficient cash on hand and I have assured him I won't let him walk around 'broke'.

So, Kazaa, I know exactly where you are coming from. If my Uncle refuses to cooperate with measures I have been taking to enable him to remain independent in his apt. (which is what he wants), then I will resign as POA and he will become a ward of the state and end up in a nursing home faster than he can blink an eye (which is what he does NOT want).

I believe you and your family should present a united front to your Mom, and if she sees that all of you consider this POA of major and immediate importance, then perhaps she will comply. Otherwise I think you have no choice but to file for Guardianship of the person and Conservatorship of the finances - involves court proceedings. Have you researched whether she qualifies for free Legal Aid from the county or state? It is a Godsend if she does.

Spend the money on a legal POA. Make sure there is an up to date will, medical directive, etc. These are really important. Secondly, see if she is open to having you on her bank accounts to help her manage her funds. If not, visit bank with her and see if she can set up a separate savings acct in her name where there are auto deposits of a portion of her monthly income; she could use this for special purposes or for big ticket items.

Also, might be wise to start visiting some AL facilities with her now and collecting info on the costs so she understands what the real costs are and why she should be wise in her money mgt now should she need in the future.

Discourage her from major purchases unless they are necessary or make her life easier.

I understand what youre saying its just she has very little money left and we need this to pay for POA one day shes saying yes then the next shes talking about buying things we cant afford and she dosnt need or have the room for I just don't know what to do its so hard to get her to reason shes still very lucid and understands what POA is? My family are behind me and want this done asap as the only asset we have for her longterm care is her house or she will end up a ward of court. the last few weeks shes being funny about money almost hoarding it? this is so stressful especially when its for her own good I want her to go to the best NH.

Having POA on your mother is not going to stop her from buying anything she wants to buy with her own money unless she is declared incompetent. It is a good idea to have a POA, but it is not an instrument that gives you automatic rights to decide her choices.

Is your mum willing to make you POA? Is she competent to understand what it means? If there is any question about her competency and especially if others (family members) might try to make trouble over it, it would be best to do this through a lawyer. There would be a fee for that. But as pamzimmrrt points out, you can do this yourself also.

I believe you can print a form off the internet, have her sign it, get two witnesses and get it notorized. Call you office of aging and ask! I found many forms on line, they look just like the one my parents did years ago and I have had no problems with it in all this time.