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sonnybee Asked October 2013

How do you deal with non-supportive siblings?

My mom went into the hospital for a hip fracture last week and is now in rehab. At the same time as she went into rehab, my sister had to find a car, my older brother's car starter broke. My sister pretty much said not to call her. I'm pretty much left holding the bag. My stress level is very high and i'm having a hard time being civil at work. I feel like I could really use some help and don't know where to turn. For most of the last 20 years it would be my mom, but she is not doing well. Help!

sonswife Oct 2013
Does your work offer an Employee Assistance Program? I've found the EAP counselors at my job to be helpful and confidential when my stress level was through the roof. Talking with EAP about a situation involving my MIL and SIL lowered my stress level substantially and that helped me develop a plan for coping with the situation better.

liz273 Oct 2013
You can't force siblings to help. In my situation, I've just given up on any help from my sister. My other sister and I have made all decisions where Mom is concerned and just dealt with it. I figure, once my Mom passes, my sister will have to live with the regret of not being there for Mom. I cherish every moment, even those moments that I just want to pull my hair out.

You do what you have to do. Don't worry about whether your brother and sister are going to come through for you. Be strong for your Mom even if your siblings won't. Keep your head up...you CAN do this!

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kazzaa Oct 2013
Sonnybee so sorry for you my mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 days ago. I emailed my (christian) sister and still NOTHING. how do I ever face her again. My poor mum sometimes a blessing she dosnt notice the crap we go through! If you cant cope alone then you need to tell your sister IF she still refuses to help then do what you can for your mum on your own and keep away from your sister and get on with your life. Im trying to cope with my mum and the unbeleivable selfishness of my sister its all too much but she has got to live with herself when mum dies she will have to cope with her guilt. GOOD LUCK!

sonnybee Oct 2013
she is in rehab, but she is doing terrible. She is having so much back pain that it is interfering with her rehab and she feels so crappy she's not eating. And actually the staff at the rehab center seems to be a bit perplexed about what to do with her, and they don't seem to do much unless i am very proactive. So, no I don't have lots of free time.

assandache7 Oct 2013
I'm not sure what the question is? If your Mom is in rehab right now then you should have some free time.

Are you worrying about what happens when she gets out?

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