I would think that it would be a good idea to pre-plan both funerals. Neither would be considered next of kin and could possibly be shut out by family members. I have seen it happen.
P.S. While I was my mom's DPOA after she died I took over as my dad's DPOA. It's a very simple process and makes everything so much easier as our elderly parents continue to age and decline.
How lovely that your mom and this gentleman have found eachother in their senior years.
While my mom and dad were married they had the foresight to assign their individual POA's to my brother and me. I was mom's POA and my brother was my dad's POA. I would suggest that your mom keep it in the family and that her gentleman do the same.
Not being married does have its advantages. Once one of them passes away the other one won't be on the hook for any expenses, outstanding bills, etc. If either your mom or her friend need assistance in taking care of their finances, again, keep it in the family. Someone from your mom's family can care for her finances and someone from his family can care for his. Keep that stuff separate when that time comes. If their finances are joint it might be a good idea to separate them now before things become messy with chronic or terminal illness, dementia, etc. This should be a joint effort on your mom's family and his family. For example, if they have a joint account and one of them becomes unable to handle his/her finances it might be a very sticky situation trying to get money out of that account even with a POA if both of their names are on it. And having joint finances has the huge potential, in my opinion, to cause a war between your mom's family and his family.
Ideally, a meeting should be held to determine who is going to care for them if/when they need it. Both families should be involved (and remember, I said "ideally") if it comes to that. The burden shouldn't lie with one family caring for them both.
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While my mom and dad were married they had the foresight to assign their individual POA's to my brother and me. I was mom's POA and my brother was my dad's POA. I would suggest that your mom keep it in the family and that her gentleman do the same.
Not being married does have its advantages. Once one of them passes away the other one won't be on the hook for any expenses, outstanding bills, etc. If either your mom or her friend need assistance in taking care of their finances, again, keep it in the family. Someone from your mom's family can care for her finances and someone from his family can care for his. Keep that stuff separate when that time comes. If their finances are joint it might be a good idea to separate them now before things become messy with chronic or terminal illness, dementia, etc. This should be a joint effort on your mom's family and his family. For example, if they have a joint account and one of them becomes unable to handle his/her finances it might be a very sticky situation trying to get money out of that account even with a POA if both of their names are on it. And having joint finances has the huge potential, in my opinion, to cause a war between your mom's family and his family.
Ideally, a meeting should be held to determine who is going to care for them if/when they need it. Both families should be involved (and remember, I said "ideally") if it comes to that. The burden shouldn't lie with one family caring for them both.
But for now, separate everything financial.