How do you handle it when your Mom thinks you are someone else?

I think you're right in just going along with her when she thinks you're someone else. There's no point in forcing the issue when someone has dementia. We have to crawl into their world. Since your mom begins to think you're her cousin can you use your mom's previous stories about she and her cousin to keep your mom from getting agitated? Let's say on one visit with your mom she talks about, let's say, a dog she and her cousin played with. Maybe on your next visit with your mom you use this memory of hers. Or just go along with her. If she starts asking you questions, thinking you're her cousin, just make stuff up. For example, if your mom's begins talking about a bowling tournament she and her cousin were in can you respond, "That tournament was great fun! I can't remember who won, can you?" In other words, just go along with her. Again, there's no point in agitating someone who has dementia. They don't live in our world anymore and we have to go into theirs to be with them.

In this case, you are not going to win anyway you try, so stop trying to convince her who you are. May I suggest when she thinks you are her cousin, ask her to tell you what event she is referring to. Let her do most of the talking and you can comment as little as possible. The fact you visit every week is great, and as time progresses she will become more and more non-verbal. So whatever she is talking about or who she thinks you are, just agree. You know who you are and how you are related, and that is what is important. This disease robs people of their own identity and that of others. Give mom a hug, and hug her every time you visit. You know you are there for her even if she doesn't.

Sorry for your Mom's illness. Before my Mom passed away a year ago, 3/4 of the time she thought I was her Aunt she grew up with, I always went along with her, wherever she was in her reality. If I didn't know anything about whatever it was she was trying to talk to me about, I would just tell her I didn't remember and that I was sorry, and applaud her that her memory was better than mine. I pray that you can find more Joy than pain.

during one phsyc episode my mother had i dashed to my bedroom and slapped on my bandana. then i was her son bob again. bandanas dont lie..

That's what I ended up doing when my mom didn't recognize one of us or thought we were someone else. We just went along with it. She asked about my dad one time and I told her he had died and she went ballistic. After that I just told her he was fine and doing well, and she accepted that and seemed happy. They don't really know any better so no need to stir up contention.

You're lucky she only thinks you're her cousin! My dad thinks I'm his old girlfriend, or my deceased mother, and flirts with me and asks me to jump into bed with him! Arrrrghhhh! He also proposes marriage all the time! He'll be 95 in Dec.
He's also called me my sister's name, and other people...It takes patience, but either calmly agree with them, or gently re-direct the conversation. It's hard sometimes I know. I'm the only caregiver for my dad, and when I'm so exhauseted and worn out, I have to admit I've yelled out once that I was his daughter, and he was my dad, and I couldn't marry him. I thought that would help, but then he says "why not?" HA!

If in her mind this is 1933 and she is 16 having adventures with her cousin, then obviously you can't be her daughter. But she knows that you are someone important in her life. No wonder she decides you are her cousin. (Is her cousin still alive? I'll bet she would love to hear how fondly your mother remembers her. Or her children would enjoy a note with that message.)

It is great that you have a few hours every visit where Mother seems to be in the present and knows who you are. Cherish those hours and make the most of them. Reminisce about events from your childhood and younger years. Talk about what is going on in your life now. Relate the present to the past. For example, tell her about all the garden produce you canned last week and then talk about the first time you canned with her.

It is heartbreaking that your own mother doesn't know who you are. But you still know who she is, and your compassionate visits are a way of keeping the connection.

This is just like my mother. She thinks my brother is her husband and follows him around like a little lost puppy dog (I feel terrible for him and my sister in law). She also thinks I am her sister. The other day I was in the bathroom with her and my husband called and said he was almost home, I told him we'd be dowb in a few minutes and she said "She's helping her little sister" followed by a little chuckle. I totally agree with those who say that they are just back to an earlier time and you didn't exist then. It bothered me a little at first but I got over it pretty quickly : )

:Yes, sometimes it is helpful to ask who do you think I am? One time my Mom was talking to me as I was making an old family recipe. It was new to her. then she asked me what my kids were doing. (I don't have any) I said I don't have any and she said yes, you do, don't kid. So I told her I didn't know what they were doing. She looked at me and said, "You are must be losing your marbles because with 11 kids you surely have to know what at least one of them are doing now." I guess I should have and that was the first time I realized she often thought I was her sister even if she did use my name.

Another time she got really angry when we got off the phone after talking to my sister. (Mom doesn't much like talking on the phone anymore) Turns out she thought we were talking to her cousin by the same name and since we'd never known her, Mom couldn't understand why we had hogged the phone. We called my sis back and they talked for a bit. When Mom got off the phone she turned to me and said. "it's really hard to talk to someone you haven't talked to in years." My sis said she could tell Mom thought she was someone else but tried to give her some vague answers that fit. She said she didn't mind just hearing Mom to talk to her over the phone was enough..

But it does hurt at first when you know they don't know you as you. With time I have come to accept it. She still thinks of me as someone she loves and cherishes spending time with. That is enough.

It seems from what you say is that after a couple of hours she doesn't remember who you are. Instead of her getting agitated cause you don't know the answer, maybe if you took a walk and came back in a couple of minutes she might remember who you are. If you rather stay then you will have to wing it and make up your own version and let her correct you if she remembers, then you can use the excuse that you don't remember it was so long ago.

Best of luck with it. My mom remembers almost nothing of her past and that is sad cause I have pictures here that I have no clue who they are and only some of them have names on them.