I’m afraid to leave mom alone to shop of us (wandering). I need advice.

I’M GLAD THAT I FOUND THIS SITE! THANK YOU ALL FOR SUGGESTIONS

My mom is 87 years. She has diabetes 2, high blood pressure, cholesterol, over weight in 1995, depression in 2007 and dementia 2013. My father had committed suicide in 1991. I have 2 other sister, who helps me take care of mom throughout the years since pop died. My sisters and I have our different ways of helping mom to carry on with her life. Mom has these problems - hearing, she doesn’t want to wear her hearing aid; diabetes shoes, in-toe nail; she use to wear those stocking for her calve and ankle - blood flow issues; has glaucoma, use eye drops and additional pressure drop for just the left eye, had carats removed in 2011; had a bleeding ulcer in 2010, has upper/lower dentures; hair line crack at the end of her tail bone, has arthritis in both hand, knee; bladder; allergy. She takes medications. Mom lives in her home. I moved in with her 3 months ago, have been caring for her long distance for 13 years and 3 years( driving 4 hours one way). I set-up self in-care home, did all the legal paper works. I have dysfunctional family (5 kids - 2 older brother, 2 younger sister, I’m in the middle); mom is F.O.G., narcissistic mother. Mom and I are like oil/water. My siblings say that I am a rebel –bad seed – on on on. I try to stay away from my family to PROTECT myself from all the HURT!!! I have struggle through my life with depression; ex-husband after 20 years with his PTSD (no kids, 2 step kids); father pass away; injury on the job - had to deal with Workers’ Comp.(diagnose incorrectly for 10 years, getting wrong treatments) then diagnose as fibromyalgia that I have (19 years). I was lay off by that company. I try to get other jobs, no luck. I had to sell my home. I apply for Social Security disability and fight with them for 7 years, finally got it. I was homeless and did the best to survive. I have border line diabetes 2; cholesterol; high blood pressure; under active thyroid; depression. I took control of my life style and changed – got off 15 different medications - went holistic; exercise; eat right; yoga; meditation; deep breathing; EFT; finding myself and praying. I’m still here.

My older brother has angry management issues all his life. We all try to help, guide him. The last 2 years – I help him to find out what was wrong with him – diagnose as Dysthymic disorder, now he see a psychiatry and psychotherapy. He has a lot short term memory issues; OCD; autism. He has border line diabetes 2, high blood pressure, cholesterol. My sibling gave up on him (out sight – out mind). I’m his caregiver too.

Mom is mid dementia. Depend on what issues she may have, but doesn’t feel pain or UTI - felt no symptoms; ear infection –pulp in right ear - no feeling of fever, ear rakes; body temperature changes; can’t wear denture - hard to chew solid; can’t swallow pill; shuffle walk; very slow; lost interest in some hobbies; loosing things – try to help her find it; speaking softly; words not so clear; using words that don’t make sense; she doesn’t understand her ills; she’s in denial; her hand and feet shake sometimes; white films along the edge of pupil; not drinking even water; scalp itching, short term memory , agitation, anxiety, critical talking; back sit driver (even thou she never drove). All the blood is gathering all around her ankle, feet – I give massage, encourage to move around, exercise.

QUESTIONS:
I’m afraid to leave her alone to shop of us (wandering) – mom doesn’t want outside people. I already ask my sisters to help – their reply: it’s OK to leave her…
She doesn’t want to go to see the various doctors to take care of her health; eating more junk food. Do I just let eat all those bad food, remind her of her diseases – concern about having a heart attack, stroke, dehydration or whatever else.
While I’m driving with mom – she takes off her seat belt… I pull off to the side. I would calmly, gently ask why – she can’t answer me. I don’t feel comfort.