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maryba Asked October 2013

How to control urinating accidents?

My husband has trouble walking and gets into the bathroom in time to pee all over the floor and his clothes. He wears jeans with a belt and will not use a pad. Lots of clothes, rugs and towels to wash. I have asked him to try sweats that don't take so much time to unbutton and unzip. He refuses and says he will try harder not to spill. I hid his jeans yesterday and he is angry. What else can I do?

01Guardian Sep 2014
Medication side effects are the number one reason for the frequent urination. It also is the easiest way to help out a little too. Talk to your doctor about them. I suggest looking up all medications and vitamins yourself. Take some notes and questions for your doctor. That will help you not to forget yourself. We all have so much more on our mind then just urination if we are this far along. It is a long hard road especially if you are doing this at home. Depends are great but don't count out the off brand sometimes they are just as good. Your doctor could save you money and time by adjusting his or her medicine. Focus on a schedule and having them sit to urinate helps. Sometimes you might need to get some attachments for your toilet as well. It is hard at first to get them to sit but if you are diligent they will get with the program. If you read anything about Dementia or Alzheimer's schedules are everything. One thing I did learn that I would not have thought of is don't clean urine with bleach products it mixes with urine and creates ammonia (not safe to breath). Lysol only in my house. I wish us all the best and remember this starts with the care giver take care of yourself so you can take care of them.

Marialake Nov 2013
I meant threshold

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Marialake Nov 2013
My MIL (Alzheimers) is now unable to make it to the toilet. She suddenly stands up and says......I have to pee. Then it pours out. I keep 2 depends on her at all times but nothing will absorb it all. I try to get her on the pot often but still............. This appears to be another Alzheimer hreshold that she has crossed. I keep a disposable pad under her feet which she constantly kicks away lol

tooyoung Nov 2013
Realized a day later that my post about "Texas condoms" wasn't very clear and some might think they were for something else. So to clarify, they are used for urine collection. The friend that used them for her husband, who had Parkinson and dementia, used them at home after trying everything, even doubling up pads. She swore they saved her a ton of work.

tooyoung Nov 2013
A friend of mine swore by "Texas condoms." Don't laugh! That's what they call them. We're not there yet, so have no personal experience. But if you look it up on the internet, a bunch of medical supply websites come up. Look up "how to use texas condom" and there are youtube videos. Technically it is an external catheter, but it is quick explanation is a large condom attached by tape or a strap.

jade1950 Nov 2013
My Dad has the same problem. Since he won't remember to sit, I have taped the toilet seat down. He is now forced to sit!

Reverseroles Nov 2013
CVS and Walmart have mens jockey depends that look real. Sit him down when he is calm and in a good mood and explain to him that he sometimes has accidents and youre worried about your rug and furniture. Try to reason with him with "I love You's" and "Please for me's" You may have to threaten him nicely with he cant stay if he doesnt. Good luck, I went thru it with my Mom too I put a diaper on her with lots of arguing and then put on unstrippable clothing she couldnt get off at night. They sell stuff on buck and buck dot com online, or make them yourself. You can also use suspenders with a shirt over them, too hard to get off in time and they wet the diaper. Tena is the best I have used for diapers on amazon or walmart, or their tena or poise pads,

Whitney Nov 2013
Plants can sometimes absorb odors, and they look nice as well. Sometimes, my mother wears two Depends. In addition, there are advantages to not having new things in the home, such as carpets, sheets, etc., for mishaps, as it doesn't matter as much if they get stained.

johnko Nov 2013
It's important to talk with your physician about managing incontinence to determine the best plan. There are many options that need to be discussed including behavioral therapy, diet modification, medication, surgery, and incontinence products. Unfortunately, many rush to incontinence products as the solution without weighing all the other factors first. If he needs an incontinence product, it needs to be the right product, in the right size, and rightly applied, otherwise he will have problems.

marksburg Nov 2013
Yes, yes!! the urinals, that are also used in hospitals. That is something I forgot to mention in my earlier note: I had one next to his chair, one next to the bed and one in the bathroom. Thanks, blannie, for mentioning them - I don't know how I could have managed the problem without them.

blannie Oct 2013
Oh my gosh, get him one of those little urinals for men (too bad women don't have it this easy) where he can just drop his drawers and pee into the plastic thing right where he is. Much easier than cleaning up (if he can hit the target ok). We had one for my dad and it was great. Google "men's urinal bottle". Wal-Mart has them for less than $6. They have an attached lid/cap that you can put on while carrying it to the toilet to empty.

deb1129 Oct 2013
My opinion only, but I have found that the Tena for men pull ups hold more than the depends. They also feel more like regular underwater. The other thing you could try is getting him into the bathroom on a schedule so his bladder isn't completely full when he has to go.

marksburg Oct 2013
I had the same problem with my husband. I too switched to simple sweat pants, maximum strength Depends, and tried to have him use the urinal frequently. Still, sometimes he would just pull down the pants and let go. It is very frustrating, but the dementia is in control and there is really nothing you can do. Even trying to explain that he is wearing Depends and to simply "let go" did not make any sense to him. As soon as I noticed him trying to pull down his pants, I just held his hands with one hand, put the other in front and said "go", and he did. It seems the pulling down of the pants is so deeply ingrained, even the dementia doesn't override the "toilet training" as a toddler.
Besides keeping an eye on times he might want to go, I put the bed pads in front of his chair, and in the bedroom I put a plastic tablecloth (securely fastened to the floor to prevent tripping) over the carpet. He only had a few steps from the bed to the bathroom. Accidents still happened, but are much easier to clean.
Once he was totally bedridden, he still would try to push his Depends aside to urinate. For some reason, to wet his pants was something that went totally against his grain, although the dementia stole everything else from him; even the ability to feed himself. It is frustrating, yes, but also heart breaking to see your once so active and intelligent husband in this condition.
It is not easy, but try to be patient and loving. I know what you are going through and my thoughts are with you.

DebMath Oct 2013
Throw out all underwear. He won't want to go commando.

I keep a basket in front of the toilet and keep it filled with Depends, flushable wipes and toilet paper. You may want to keep a copy of his favorite magazine there, too, to make it look "normal." At bedtime and morning, I place a piece of paper on top of the pile that says, "Please change your Depends." It's working at my house!

(I also put out notes at morning and night both at the sink and at Mom's bed, where I place her clothes/pajamas, so she doesn't have to keep asking, "What do I do now?")

cprjmr Oct 2013
Haband sells nice looking elastic waist pants- my husband resisted at first but I gave away all his regular slacks and he had to wear them. So much easier!

raven77 Oct 2013
My husband also has the same issue (PD and Dementia) and has been urinating all over our family room carpet. He doesn't realize he has to go until it's too late. I have him wearing sweat pants or shorts as well as PJ bottoms to make it easier to change him. I usually try and get him to use the plastic urinal every couple of hours to see if he will go but I can't watch him every second. He also wears the maximum strength Depends which helps. I know it's frustrating but I have learned to live with it and I know he doesn't realize what he is doing.

mymares Oct 2013
When you figure it out let me know.. I have a bad back and neck, and spend so much time cleaning in the bathroom. If I take a day off it smells so bad from his meds.. I just spoke to my husband and of course he thinks I am making a big deal of it..He just tried to clean it before I see it and makes more of a mess Its one of those things that just irritates me, other things I let slide.

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