Is it really necessary to give such personal info when going to an attorney/financial planner?

Here are some things to do from Consumer Reports, a non-profit organization. In the box they have links to the websites of the American College of Trust and Estate Counsel and the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys for estate-planning specialists in your area. I'd check out the person you're thinking about using. http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2013/11/how-to-create-a-bulletproof-estate-plan/index.htm I also would be wary about giving all of that info to someone until you've decided they're the ones you want to work with. If you don't pay them until you decide to use them (and it sounds like they create a plan for you before you pay them?), then I'd be afraid they get money (commissions) from what they recommend. I would never want to use someone like that, as they'll likely steer you in the direction of where they get the most commission. I'd rather go with a fee-only financial planner or an elder law attorney. With them you pay them a fee but they don't manage your account and don't get paid commissions by the companies where they steer your monies.

Yes, it is necessary to document everything and many lawyers will run a background check on you before you even walk in the office. There are so many scammers out there, they have to have all the data so they don't look like idiots in front of the judge.

Thanks. I am so uncomfortable with the Social Security Card, Medicare card, drivers license, deed to home, car titles.

I have been to 2 financial planners in my lifetime. They ask about assets and "inventory" your wealth and its allocation (example how much and in what funds is your 401k, maybe your husband has a 401 as well, maybe a pension, or real estate). They must interview you on your risk tolerance, the older you are the more conservative a portfolio needs to be, typically. I have never had to provide copies of titles or account numbers.
Red flag! Check on their license through your state's licensing board and bar association. I would not provide the described info and would likely seize this relationship.

Go with a legitimate and established firm would be my advice.