Recently my mom wants everything done for her, even the things she could do on her own. Is this a stage of the dementia or depression?

Try to ween her back to doing for herself...She needs to feel useful and you need a break..

My Mom has a caregiver who looks for everything she loses. I've told her NOT to look if my my Mom is not making any attempt at all to look she is able-bodied, but she doesn't look for things. I don't think I'm being mean, she just needs to make the effort.

I think you should try to make your mom do her things by herself.I don't know how old she is but there's nothing worse than getting them used to having everything done,they eventually end up losing the capacity to do the smallest thing and I believe that can lead to dementia,I'm no doctor,I'm just a 23 year old who went through the same thing,I had a perfectly healthy grandmother who had a few stomach problems and had to be in the hospital for 8 days,before that she did everything by herself,she was a very active lady,when she got back from the hospital with her health issue already solved we started doing everything for her,we even took her meals to bed so she wouldn't have to get out of bed,this happened in 2011,it's 2013 and my grandmother has dementia,she needs help 24 hours a day and I witness it every single day,it's heartbreaking,she can't do anything on her own.Once again I'm no doctor,there are for sure many causes to dementia but our behavior sure didn't help,we thought we were doing the right thing but we weren't,the brain needs to be constantly stimulated.It's really hard to give you any advice when I don't have more insight in your mother's condition,the only thing I know is that you shouldn't do everything for her,she needs to exercise her brain.

that sounds exactly like my mom. She has lived with us for 6 months now and she hasn't done anything on her own. Including getting a drink of water out of the faucet. I even have to tuck her in at night. She has macular degeneration. Other than that she seems fine. She just sits in a her chair all day and smokes and rocks back and forth. I feel like I am losing my mind. I'm so sorry I do not have any advice for you. It's just such a sad sad life. Hugs to you.

Does your mother have dementia? My mom did not have dementia, but seemed to follow that same path - the more I did the more she wanted me to do, so I sort of created my own problem without realizing it. I think a lot of this has to do with that role-reversal that happens when you are caring for your parent - they are now "the child" and you are now "the parent", and sometimes they have no problem allowing you to do everything, whereas others want to keep that independence as long as possible. If it's a safety issue, then by all means, do it or help them do it. If it's a "convenience" issue (getting a kleenex, fetching the newspaper, etc.) - ask her to please get it herself because you're "busy" and see what she does. I wouldn't berate her for it - just nudge her towards doing things for herself. good luck.