I will spend $2000 this year on providing respite for my Mom's caregiver - any way that is tax deductible?

I live in NY and the legislature passed a law allowing Medicaid to go after the house in "life tenant" type trusts. So in NY do not count on keeping the house in an irrevocable trust, there is no asset protection there anymore.

you could defray the cost of respite by visiting a south american destination and " muleing " cocain back with you.. i like to kid. its probably annoying but not a crime..

Just remember, its not forever! Could you not get a job near by & do shift work between you? For instance find a job where you can work PM shift & sis does AM. Most aged care facility do this At the end of the road the house worth should be split between both of you.

I agree with gladimhere... If Mom ends up in NH and you haven't seen an Elder Atty. and took care of Mom's estate then there will be no inheritance for Sister and she worked her butt off all these years caring for Mom for free!!!! Kindness can't pay the bills!!

Thereisnotry-
Do not accept payment for that two weeks, then turn around and give it to your sister. That will cause major problems with Medicaid. If sister thinks that it is time for a nursing home, then she has a much more than 40 hour a week job, it is actually a 168 hour a week job. Then consider the overtime. Most caregivers get paid $10.00-$12.00 an hour. Overtime over the course of a year is about $100,000.00. Some states do not permit family members to be paid for care, New York is one. But most states do permit it. In fact they permit transferring parents house without penalty to the child that provided the care if done for a period of two years before a nursing home is necessary and if mom's doctor states 24/7 care is necessary.

Mom helping you buy a house would also be scrutinized by Medicaid. There is a five year look back, and they are talking about making it 10 years. And as far as room and board?! What would mom do if sister wasn't there? A nursing home or assisted living long ago, I'm guessing. Medicaid does not expect caregivers to pay room and board. Maybe sister would have a hard time finding work, but that has nothing to do with this. She has a 24/7 job. What are chances that she would be able to find an employer that would provide the flexibility necessary to do what is needed for your mom? Keep your 50K a year job, allow mom to stay where she is and pay sister to care for her, transfer the house to her. What kind of a pickle would mom be in if sister were not there caring for her? If mom were in a nursing home the cost would be at a minimum $6,000.00 a month.

Sister can be paid to care for mom. An elder law attorney would draw up a contract that is also negotiated with other beneficiaries. Start by getting a geriatric assessment done by a qualified professional that will state mom's needs. You sound as if you are in a conflict of interest position, you know mom needs care, and the care is very costly, but maybe you are afraid of the impact that paying sister for care is going to have on your inheritance? If mom ends up on Medicaid they will go after the house, at least protect it, then work out some sort of an agreement with your sister on what happens with that when mom passes.

Just to be clear, I fly cross country (a 5-hour flight not a 5-hour drive) and use any vacation time that I have as well as unpaid time. My husband hasn't had a vacation in two years because of my absences. I agree, I love to do it and I fight the idea of a nursing home. As far as money, I like to keep things above board. I wouldn't want any family who isn't helping out to receive part of any family resources. My sister is NOT paid for her time. She lives there and is POA and I read that a POA can not receive pay for services. What I would like to do is get paid for MY services for that two weeks, and then give the money to my sister! That would get her some money out of the family account in a round about way. If I could get something back in taxes that would help. Ideally I want to buy a home on THIS side of the country and bring Mom here to live - out of the snow. But spending this money to care for her where she is doesn't help me save towards bringing her here. I can't suggest using the disability income she has to help buy the house here because my sister unfortunately is dependent on my Mom for her own livelihood. She won't admit it, but she'd have a hard time finding employment if she were on her own herself, and everyone thinks she is a saint for living with Mom, but I know that without Mom's home, she'd be in a pickle. Life is very complicated, isn't it? Now she talking about a NH for Mom, using her disability to cover that, while keeping the home for her to stay on weekends. I'm not much liking this idea. Caring for Mom is a 40-hour a week job, but when you are promised the house when she's gone, and meantime you get room and board, and the car to use, I think she is obligated to put in at least a 4-hour day cooking and caring for Mom in her own home, but maybe it takes that long to keep up with the finances etc. I can't suggest it because I know it would make her very angry. But lets say you do care caregiver for 10 years and you inherit a $400k house, that is $40k a year. See I have to break it down in those terms because a $50k a year job is what I would give up if my sister didn't want to do any more. And I might just do that, but wonder if I would ever work again if I quit, and is that far to myself or MY immediate family..... crap..... life is so complicated. If you got through all that, thank you for listening.

Amen to that! I hear you!

My husband (only child) and I have been caring for his 93 year old mom for 10 years. We have no help except the rare times I can get my sister to fly in and care for her so we can visit kids/grandkids. My husband is still working and I try to find part-time jobs I can do from home so we are home with her most of the time. She has alzheimers and other medical issues so I quit my outside job several years ago. It is very hard to be tied down, but we would rather take care of her ourselves than have to deal with the government getting in our business to get medicaid for her. They would rather make your life miserable than God forbid let you take some money to help offset your expenses to keep your parent in their home or with you. It is a difficult position to be in, especially when you have a parent who like most of the parents of caregivers give you such a hard time, call you names and complain constantly when you are only trying to help them. If this was her attitude just because of alzheimers, I could be more understanding, but she has always been negative, paranoid and petty. Sorry to vent, but after a week of being told Go to Hell, I get a little negative myself. Although, we do take some money out of her social security each month for room and board, transportation, etc., it is nothing compared to what we would have to pay for a nursing home. There should be more help for caregivers, period.

I echo gladimhere,

Who is paying your sister?
If you are relieving her,
then you should get paid as well.

OK, if a kiss were equal to a dollar you'd be Rich just from the folks on this site.
The taxing on Patience, Mind, Body and even love isn't done once a year but once a day. Your help is beyond words. sibling ? go ahead call them sister or brother.

ThereIsNoTry: No.

That week is expensive to you, priceless to your sister, but non deductible to Uncle Sam.
I asked my accountant, not even home improvements like expensive ramps to my parents were deductable.
Take Care
L

Is your sister being paid to care for your mom? You may be able to collect payment for your expenses from mom.

You would be able to claim the mileage if you take her to doctor appointments or therapy while you're there as medical travel. Almost all caregivers have given up jobs, wages, etc. It is really nice that you can go for two weeks to relieve your sister, but, sorry, Uncle Sam would see your visit just a visit to a family member.

No, don't believe there is. 2,000 is a lot of cost as well for a five hour drive and maybe you could avoid the loss wages if you used vacation time to help care for your mother, therefore no loss in wage. Don't know how you travel and such, but maybe you can re-evaluate how you go about that two weeks per year.