How do you handle mom who once was grateful and pleasant and now is angry and mean all the time?

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Debby123 Asked November 2013

How do you handle mom who once was grateful and pleasant and now is angry and mean all the time?

How do you handle a mother is has always been grateful and pleasant and now she is angry and mean all the time? Her health is great but she complains all the time. I never do anything right and she says I cause arguments with her all the time. She is never in a good mood and I have tried to be patient but now I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of crying all the time. She is 3 hrs from me so I talk with her often on the phone. I end up just telling I got to go because she wants to argue all the time. Help!

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score 1 · Answer 1

Has she been diagnosed with dementia? My Mom was always sweet and passive but now that her dementia has reared it's evil self, she argues about a lot. I just need to pick and choose my battles.. If it's unsafe for her that's where I draw the line!

We have tried different meds but they made things worse. Staying in a daily schedule and avoiding stressful situations works the best..

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score 0 · Answer 2

I agree with Madeaa, an in-person visit is probably in order if your mom's personality has changed.

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score 0 · Answer 3

I think sometimes she does need anti-depressent pill. But she doesn't think she is depressed. So she would not take it. She doesn't like to take pills but she does take Xanax. Thanks!

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score 1 · Answer 4

Get meds preferably for her not you.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Thank you JessieBelle! You have been an inspiration to me. I have always heard that the older you get the more child like you become. I see that. If she is going to act like a child then I need to treat her like one. I hope one day she will she the good things in life instead of bad. Prayers coming your way!

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score 1 · Answer 6

Debby, I can relate so much. Many older people become very self-centered and grumpy. They often show their worst side to the ones who care about them the most. It is not a happy state of affairs. I've been living with what you describe for four years now and have not found any answers except to walk away when it becomes too much for me. What you describe is probably why so many of us need respite time. It is hard to be around someone when almost every word out of their mouth is negative. Sometimes I would ask my mother why she was being so grouchy and she would launch into all my character flaws that made her that way. I quickly learned that I was to blame for all her problems, so didn't bother to ask anymore.

We often here that getting old is not for sissies. I have to add that caring for someone who is getting old is definitely not for sissies. It is a stressful job, but someone has to do it. I wish that all people got sweeter as they get older. Some do. I envy the families of these sweet people.

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