Mom's in rehab until she can come home, she is wishing she is dead. What can I do?

I will however discover my options if I can't bring her home. I can't make the same mistake and bring her home unable to move. The nurse at the hospital told me I would be able to take care of her so I will be careful.

I brought her home from her first hospital trip and she could not get out of bed and I was unable to move her with the torn tendon and had to call 911 this is why she went to rehab. I really don't think it was the tendon but the sores all over. I am hoping she can come home from this trip.

Well all hospital she is in have a record of her allergies and put them on her wrist but I am afraid when she was transferred from Celebration to downtown Orlando since they didn't do vascular surgery there they might have removed the celebration ones and not added them there. Since the downtown Hospital takes 3 buses and 4 hours or more I was unable to get there on time with working. It seems almost all antibiotics react on her.

Does she have a medical alert bracelet or necklace listing her antibiotic allergy? That's very important because it will continually remind everyone not to us it or others in its class.

That allergic reaction can get worse each time she takes that antibiotic. The reaction itself become life threatening. I have a friend who survived it but it was truly nasty, involving skin grafts and permanently closed tear ducts.

((Hug))

Many N/Hs call themselves residential and rehabilitation centers. and people of all ages can go there if for instance they need both nursing care and intensive P/T and there is no one who can look after them at home. I was offered rehab after my recent hospital stay and I declined the invitation! I could not imagine who my room mate might be as I am of the N/H age. I would have called a cab and snuck out in my hospital gown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God she is out of that terrible place. Make sure she does not go back there. She may be too much for you to manage at home as you have to work and she has so many things wrong with her. While she is in the hospital start looking for somewhere else she can go. Talk to the social worker at the hospital and tell him/her what the conditions were like and ask for help placing Mom somewhere better. Whatever time she has left she deserves to spend the time in a caring community. Take your friend with you to the hospital talk to the Dr., social worker and the discharge planner. If your Mom refuses to go back there they can't make her whatever they say. Tell her she must just say NO. With your love and a bit of determination I think she has a good chance of being around for a while longer. Any of her ailments can take her at anytime but with proper treatment and following instructions she can make it if she wants to. The Drs and nurses can only do so much. I think you still need to talk to hospice though, they are eyes on the ground far better than all the guessing we can do. If hospice thinks she is approaching the end and they have an in patient facility that could be the best solution.

I don't understand why the elderly have to go to nursing homes for residental rehabilitative services. Younger people can utilize the rehabilitative centers for their residential needs, why not the elderly. I know nursing homes get more money from temporary medicare/private insurance patients than long term medicaid patients. I am sure it costs even more at the rehabilitative centers, but why should the elderly be considered for the least cost effective treatment over younger people?

Her torn tendon is in her shoulder and she is still covered with sores from the bad antibiotic I told them not to use but I suspect they used again. Not the first time they did this,

Good and bad news her health go so bad she is in the hospital on the other hand if she can't come home with me I will look for other options and if she goes back to that horrible place I will not allow her to go back with that room mate and I will ask for help from my a little too strong mouthed and opinionated friend. My Mom is 74 and I don't think she is dyeing yet but totally depressed she is beyond my care and misses living with me. but hopefully she will be able to come home to me again when her torn tendon repairs and she has congestive heat failure, a fib, MS, and diabetes. But I believe with all the love I have she can make it for longer!

One thing I forgot was to suggest that you contact your States health board and complain about conditions in your Mom's N/H. You could probably do it anonymously.

Veronica's idea to bring an assertive friend with you is right on! I did that a few time when my husband was in hospitals and rehab. You have to rely on the care staff to take care of your loved one (and you sometimes) so you don't want to piss them off too much. Having a forceful friend tell them the really bad things keeps you from looking like a bitch while still getting the point across. It's especially helpful because they won't be as exhausted mentally and physically as you and can produce a more forceful tirade when one is required.

Angels this is a terrible situation both for you and your Mom. I imagine everyone else who has been in that room with the room mate from hell has asked to be moved which is often difficult in a N/H.
That being said. even if your Mom won't complain when you get there and the room mate has made the room unbearable get right on that call button and ask the nurses to do something about it NOW not next week. If nothing happens ask to see the nursing supervisor and complain. if no one shows up in half an hour ask again and if no one still comes go down to the front hall and knock on every door till you find someone who will talk to you and demand the room mate be cleaned up.
How old is your Mom is she really close to death. Calling hospice is an excellent idea as they can advocate for Mom and improve her condition.
As far as not eating and not getting pain or other meds there is no excuse for that. She has probably been getting antibiotics and that upsets stomachs so you feel nauseous and loose your apetite.
You sound as though you and your Mom find it difficult to stand up for yourself. Do you have a friend who is not easily intimidated by authority who would go with you to visit and demand action. The other thing you can do is ask to see the Dr at the N/H and ask why your Mom is not being properly taken care of.
You can also contact your Mom's own Dr and explain what is going on and ask for advice. If it is at all possible I think your Mom should be receiving hospital care she is not fit to be in rehab in my opinion. This makes me so mad when I hear of this kind of substandard care and neglect and I am sure others will agree with me. Hospice may be the best way to get the fastest help because they will not tolerate this kind of care for their patient. Call them tomorrow and keep us posted
When the room mate keeps the TV on late at night tell Mom to call the nurse and ask for it to be turned off that is if she doesn't have a controller herself

If she can't eat, the doctor can order injectable pain meds. Get a Hospice evaluation, they aren't afraid to give pain meds. They will help a lot.

Thank you!

They should not refuse her pain meds. If she can't take one kind because it needs to be taken with food, they can find another one. You can contact her doctor to say she needs a different pain med.

It sounds like you need to contact a hospice. If she's in the downward spiral it sounds like she's in and she thinks she's dying and wants to die, she's probably eligible. Give a local hospice a call and ask for a consult.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry you're both having this trouble.