As an update, before I got into painting my living room I called my mother (out of duty). First thing out of her mouth was "It's lunch time". Nope, it's 1.30, after lunchtime. Well, she said, I didn't go to lunch, didn't go yesterday either. Well if she didn't do lunch why care what time it is?
Next thing out of her mouth was "I've been thinking (always bad for my health) you're absolutely crazy to have fitted white carpet in the house with dogs". Excuse me? I have wood floors and absolutely no intention of having fitted carpet, white or otherwise.
Next thing was are you coming for Christmas. No - we haven't done Christmas in 15 years (and the food there I wouldn't give to my dogs) so why start now. So, am I coming to your house? No, you can't get in the truck and you can't get into the house .. can't sit up or stand alone and falls asleep every five minutes. Next, well I'm not friendly with anyone here. I guess, but you've never been friendly with anyone in your life, which she acknowledged.
I truly give up. There is no way to deal with a narcissist who has lost his/her mind.
I agree with NancyH. I signed up to do a volunteer shift on Christmas Day and I'm thrilled! Otherwise I'd be in a funk. It's just me and mom...no kids, grandkids, nearby siblings. Very easy to feel isolated and lonely. But not this year! I'm so happy that I have somewhere to go for 90 minutes where I'll be around other people and will be helping them out. And I may look for more opportunities to do more on that day.
Why is it that when we humans are lonely and/or hurting we draw ourselves up into a little ball and hide from family and friends? We do just the opposite of what we should be doing, which is venturing out of our little hidey hole and seek friendly faces. I find that is the tendency with myself when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and I'm married for heavens sake! How much worse for the person who is living alone? If I don't tell my husband how I'm feeling and instead make him a mind-reader, then how is he, or in your case friends/family going to be able to help us get through the funk? Also, it's REALLY hard to be depressed and sad when you're helping other people. I know for me, if I sit and wallow in whatever has gotten me in the 'wallowing funk' by thinking about only MYSELF and the 'woe is me' song is playing in my head, I just get more depressed/sad & worried. But as soon as I get off my rear-end and do something for SOMEONE ELSE, I automatically feel better and more positive. It really is better to give than to receive.
My dad's birthday was Boxing Day and that was when we did Christmas. After he passed 15 years ago we really didn't do Christmas any more except I spent many evenings cooking and trucked the feast 200 miles so we could eat at the kitchen table. A life long negative narcissist, my mother wouldn't lift a finger. That continued for the four years after I gave up my home and career to care for her. The only difference was I hauled the food up from the basement.
She went into a nursing home a year ago and, after a lifetime of her nastiness and emotional blood sucking, I visit occasionally to make sure she has all she needs. After a lifetime of misery, frankly, I'm grateful to be rid of her. Moving to my new home on December 27th, I had no Christmas at all last year. This year, my first Christmas out in the country, I'll cook a turkey for me and my dogs, listen to the Christmas music, watch old movies and enjoy the peace and quiet.
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Next thing out of her mouth was "I've been thinking (always bad for my health) you're absolutely crazy to have fitted white carpet in the house with dogs". Excuse me? I have wood floors and absolutely no intention of having fitted carpet, white or otherwise.
Next thing was are you coming for Christmas. No - we haven't done Christmas in 15 years (and the food there I wouldn't give to my dogs) so why start now. So, am I coming to your house? No, you can't get in the truck and you can't get into the house .. can't sit up or stand alone and falls asleep every five minutes. Next, well I'm not friendly with anyone here. I guess, but you've never been friendly with anyone in your life, which she acknowledged.
I truly give up. There is no way to deal with a narcissist who has lost his/her mind.
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She went into a nursing home a year ago and, after a lifetime of her nastiness and emotional blood sucking, I visit occasionally to make sure she has all she needs. After a lifetime of misery, frankly, I'm grateful to be rid of her. Moving to my new home on December 27th, I had no Christmas at all last year. This year, my first Christmas out in the country, I'll cook a turkey for me and my dogs, listen to the Christmas music, watch old movies and enjoy the peace and quiet.