How do you maintain POA if every time parents gets mad they threaten to have it revoked?

Thanks all for your input! I do have her set up with auto pay and auto deposit...highly recommend. I also have all her mail sent to me so she is not confused by it...I live in CT and she is in CA, so look to make everything as easy as possible. She uses a credit card and I have pharmacy's auto charge to it so I can keep watch on the internet. There hasn't been anything she needs cash for so far. I may have to worry about the credit card soon...she just charged $300 for makeup she claims was stolen and I know it's just misplaced...will have to monitor. Will see what the evaluation comes up with and go one step at a time.

mman, unless she is deemed incompetent, there is little you can do to prevent her from changing the POA if she has a way to contact her lawyer. There are some things you can do if you're concerned about it. You can set her bills up on autopay, so they come from her checking account. You can also make sure all of her checks are automatically deposited. If you're concerned about any credit cards, you can cancel them. Doing all this sounds extreme, but sometimes we have to protect them from themselves.

I hope that she does not blame you for the recent turn of things. I imagine she feels that her life is spinning out of control. I hope the doctors are able to find a medicine that calms her. I am not overly fond of medicating, but I do know a good medicine can make it so much easier on a person with dementia. Please let us know how it is going with your mother.

My mother threatened it remove me and sis all the time. Now that she is mentally incapacitated she doesn't mention it. We knew her threats were just that...she would never remove us but it gave her power to threaten us with it.

I consider it a lucky break...she was agitated at her senior facility, called 911 complaining she had abdominal pain because they were not feeding her and abusing her. Paramedics could see she wasn't right when they transported her to the hospital. Once she was there, the Health and Wellness Director from her senior facility, contacted the Dr and described her past behavior(there was lengthy documentation, as my mother had regularly been calling the state social services, ombudsman and police). She was transferred under a 5150 in CA that is an involuntary hold for evaluation. They claimed she had become a danger to herself and needed a facility that could cater better to her needs. I was relieved she facilitated this herself and will hopefully be evaluated to get the meds and care she needs. Of course, she will twist it around and put the blame on me. Guess I will have to see how they evaluate her competence.

If the evaluation shows that she has dementia but is still competent, she can change her POA. If she is no longer competent and you get a court to agree to that, then she cannot change the POA. See what the evaluation reveals.

How did you get her evaluated against her will? Lot's of folks ask that question here!