How to discourage a care recipients behavior that thinks they are in love with you?

My father acts this way to caregivers when he's in the hospice unit, AND at home with me. (I'm his caregiver). I so understand how you want to tactfully explain to them "that's nice, but wrong". I is SO uncomfortable. Especially when the patient is your own father. (he has dementia). It happens every other day or so - his expression of attraction and love. You have some good responses and answers here from the ones I've read! :) And keep up the good work :)

When my husband was in a rehab facility for people with severe brain injury, this happened a lot, but without the gifts (residents didn't have much ability to buy things). The therapists would cheerfully say, "Oh, Mr Doug, you know that's inappropriate." They would sometimes add, "What would my boyfriend think?" Or "What would your husband say?" I don't know what they said the first time it happened, if it was different.

Then they would continue on with therapy. If the resident persisted, they would ask them to concentrate on therapy. If the person kept on, they would get someone else to take over or end or reschedule the session.

I only saw the events that happened in a public setting, like an open therapy room or in the dining room. I don't know what they did if it happened in the resident's room in private.

Because some of the people in the facility had memory or cognitive problems, the therapists took it in stride when it happened over and over. It probably made them uncomfortable, but they dealt with it in a cheerful, respectful manner. Over and over again.

You're a wonderful person for taking care of people. Thanks!

Good advice, do not accept anything from your patients. Be kind, and yes explain its against "company policy". Express your gratitude of course, but politely decline. And yes tell your superiors right away. They may actually think you accepted and could cause trouble. Document, tell a superior, and do not accept. It's very normal for that to happen though.

First, I would report these incidents to my supervisor so it's on record in case the care recipient tries to take their attachment to an inappropriate level.

Second, it might help to say you are *not allowed* to do whatever is requested, such as accept gifts or get too close. This shifts the heat to an authority figure who might threaten your job.

What you're going through of course is an occupational hazard and certainly nothing new. But be sure to protect yourself in the process. Good luck.

What kind of rehab? Are you doing with competent people or dementia patients? If they are attempting to give you gifts, it sounds like they are doing this intentionally and have the ability to do so?

My approach would be twofold. If dealing with a dementia patient, I would just smile, give them a friendly pat, say something like: Oh, you're so sweet to say that; l love you too (sisterly, motherly, etc.).

If non-memory impaired, I would do the above, without the friendly pat, and just drop in LOTS of comments about my spouse or significant other, whether or not you have one. All the things you do together, the plans you have, etc. IMO, this is the kindest way to let them know you're not available. You probably will never need to address it directly, hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone angry.