My 90 something parents live on their own in their own home in the suburbs. My parents do the household cleaning chores on a regular basis. Mom refuses outside help for cleaning as she doesn't want the neighbors to think she can't keep a clean house.... [sigh].
Yet I am baffled by the odor I smell every time I enter their home. Even things they give me to take home have a similar odor.
When I take my parents to appointments or run errands with them, I don't notice the smell on them themselves.
Every time I enter their home, I keep the door opened a bit to get fresh air inside the house, until my parents closes the door...Mom's excuse is not to let the flies in... and Dad's excuse is he's not paying to heat/cool the neighborhood :]
As I recall as a child, there were some older relatives homes that had a similar smell.
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A reason for not flushing each time: If your dad is like most older guys with prostate problems, he probably pees tiny amounts many, many times a day and is afraid of either wasting water (which costs money) or of overflowing a septic system or cesspool. Your mom might have similar fears, although I think men are more likely not to flush because they pee standing up (less risk of splashing old pee on personal parts). Even if your folks have city wastewater service now, they might have formed their habits with more rustic plumbing.
When we lived in the country, we had trouble with our septic field in the springtime when the ground was wet. The more often you flush, the higher your chances of having the septic field overflow and form a stink pool of sewage in your yard. Trust me, we didn't always flush after "small" deposits in the spring :-)
then follow the advice of redd foxx "wash yo ass "
Yes, my parents have the heat on sauna degrees, thus that could be one of the factors with the smell. Poor Dad, he likes it cooler but Mom feels like ice she gets so cold, so Dad go around the house in winter wearing a t-shirt and summer shorts :]
I noticed others wrote about not flushing the toilet... what is it with that? I notice my parents do that, it's like trying are trying to conserve water. Dad even had an expensive water saver toilet installed with 2 different flushes.... yet, I notice they don't flush at all.
After all this talk about cleaning, I am eyeing my own home.... time for spring cleaning in December :]
They don't open doors and windows because they are cold all the time. They shower only when they have to. (this can be every other day or every other week :0(
They don't see the dirt in the corners or notice spills or may just not feel like cleaning it up. They forget about foods in aluminum foil or little containers they put in fridge and freezer - leading to fuzzy growth, liquified lettuce, etc. and subsequent 'smells.'
Many are incontinent and even when very careful about disposal - there is just that 'smell.' They may take multiple medications that I swear would kill a mosquito if a mosquito were to bite them. My MIL never gets bitten, by the way - we tell her it is because her blood is chemically laden and dangerous to the skeeters.
Sometimes they forget to empty their commodes and their urine is often strong due to chronic dehydration and medication. When I clean for my MIL I use bleach - she HATES bleach - so when she 'cleans' she uses something that does not do the same job :0(
But, basically, I think it is just all these off odors that are concentrated due to lack of ventilation and the thermostat being set at 80 degrees year round. My MIL wears a sweater when it is 90 degrees in her apt.!
I clean whenever she goes to the doctor - it can be 10 degrees outside - I don't care - I OPEN ALL HER WINDOWS and her front door and turn her heat off while I am cleaning in there. I use bleach everywhere. I launder her bedclothes and mattress pad. She has a vinyl mattress cover and I wipe it down with diluted bleach too. I bleach her walk in shower and everything inside the shower. Her garbage disposal is a sewer. She puts stuff down there and doesn't run it or doesn't run it with enough water. So, that requires me to use paper towels and bleach and clean the cesspool out and clean the underside of the rubber gasket. When I am done - the place smells FRESH.
I vacuum like crazy - her carpet, her furniture. I use Fabreeze on her chair and wash the pillow she puts in the chair to sit on and dry it and put it back.
When she comes home the place is sparkling clean and fresh - for about 24 hours. I think just the heat levels (she keeps her part of the house 10-15 degrees warmer than our side) and odors she exudes personally (probably due to meds and health issues) - well, it isn't long and the 'smell' returns.
She has one of those electric candle warmer things - I turn it on - SHE TURNS IT OFF :0( I also take a Q-tip and use essential oils and dab it onto light bulbs in her lamps and turn them on - for a short while the place smells like oranges, or lemons or lavender. That helps for a short while. I don't use a lot of artificial sprays and such. I don't think they are very healthy - especially in an environment where there is very little air exchange going on.
I hate it when she opens her door to tell us something - or when I take her her meals - the heat/smell hits you. I have smelled worse smells - but this is just kinda of low grade sickening. I wish I knew how to describe it. She does not smell it and we don't say anything. We just try and keep things as clean as possible for her and getting those essential oils was a Gods send.
They may be slightly incontinent and this is in the upholstery or on rugs, bed linens, mattresses.
They may night take out trash as much waiting til the trash is full...so that can smell, especially if they are wearing disposables or panty liners etc.
Showers or shower curtains, towels can be odorous because they don't change or wash as frequently.
Refrigerators, freezers can smell with bad foods, or unclean end up spills. Old potatoes or onions left in the pantry.
These are things I notice in elders homes including my moms. Odors, even pleasant ones, can cling to everything.
Good luck sleuthing the source(s) and helping eliminate. Also, your parents don't smell it. As they age their olafactory ability diminishes so they don't detect it.