What to do when my elderly Dad's sex drive has increased?

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anonymous205062 Asked December 2013

What to do when my elderly Dad's sex drive has increased?

My step father is pushing 70, and has had thyroid problems, now that his thyroid has been diagnosed, and a medication has been prescribed, he is constantly talking about how he is going to explode, he just needs to see a woman, he is thinking about women. His wife has passed and he has female care givers.. How do I handle this? Is buying him a "magazine" a good idea, or would that only enhance the problem?

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score 0 · Answer 1

I wasn't thinking inappropriateness,, I was thinking desirability! Maybe it is not so bad we are all anonymous here LOL. Seems to me so many people forget how old they are. Merry Christmas to you all too!!!! Yes, love the t shirt slogan!!! Although it may cause the loss of the help of a health aide or two!

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score 2 · Answer 2

LOL, hopping from hen to hen...I owned a flowershop years ago. One of my BEST customers was a man in his early 80's who had at least 3 steady girlfriends that he would buy flowers for regularly...there may have been a few flings in there as well. These guys in there 70-80's are in big demand, I kid you not! It ain't over, till it's over ladies!

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score 0 · Answer 3

ThereIsNoTry, who knows if "roosters hop from hen to hen when they (the hens) are over 75?" They may in some cases; we are all different. But it's not unique to just the roosters. A woman who helps with Mother, had an elderly female (80's) that was quite verbal in her, let's say, desires. It's part of the degenerative nature of situation. As for the 'inappropriateness', it's again something we need to deal with and those that are in the position of caregiver, home aid, visiting nurse etc. understand that -if they are trained. I've thought of having sign or T-shirt (Sweatshirt) made up with some "WARNING" the person I'm with is a SEXUALLY ADVANCED SENIOR"......never know what will be said.

Anyway, have a good CHRISTMAS.

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score 0 · Answer 4

I understand the drive and the activity in couples that have known each other a long time, however, a man that age behaving inappropriately is big trouble I think, or hear from my father's caregivers. Truth be known 1) he is not interested in ladies his age and 2) would anyone be open to a NEW relationship at that age? Do roosters hop from hen to hen when they (the hens) are over 75? I'm SERIOUS dammit!

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score 0 · Answer 5

I agree with Lucysmom and Emartin. My husband was 86 when he passed and still had the urge. It was so bad when he first started taking his Parkinson's meds 15 years ago, that I complained to his Dr who prescribed an anti depressant. It took a few months of taking this anti depressant but it finally slowed him down to not "needing sex" so frequently, going days without a mention. He would still request my attentions but at least he did not get so furious when I declined. We often had issues with his caregivers telling me about his groping hands and remarks. I would talk to him about it but it did little good. The girls just had to be sure not to get in too close.

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score 1 · Answer 6

Captain, I really hate you because that's the best relationship advice I've gotten in years! If I could only keep my mouth shut, half of our fights would never start, and another third would finish in 90 seconds.

My sister is married to a good, hardworking depressed negative judgmental son of a puppydog. 25 years into the marriage, she discovered what to do when he starts a negative rant. I've heard them, and they are pretty hard to take. Well, it turns out that if she just sits down at the table and listens and doesn't respond, he finishes his rant sooner, with kinder feelings toward her.

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score 3 · Answer 7

heres a kinda fun sexist joke. a lady confided to her doc that her husband had an ongoing rage problem and she was becoming fearful of him. doc told her to get a mouthfull of water and just quietly swish it back and forth till the old man calmed down. at a later visit the woman told doc that the water swishing worked magnificently and asked him to explain why. doc told her that all the time she was swishing the water her mouth was closed. hehe

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score 2 · Answer 8

An elderly man went to the doctor after having a heart attack. The doctor went over the medications, diet, exercise and told him he was improving nicely. The old man asked "What about having sex?" and the MD said "No. That would be quite dangerous." " How dangerous?" the old man asked. The doctor looked him right in the eye and said " It could be fatal." The old man shrugged and said "If she dies, she dies."

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score 0 · Answer 9

I am not sure what you mean by age-related decline but there are many people a lot older than your stepfather who have absolutely no decline at all - well maybe they could not run a marathon but. . . If your stepfather does not have dementia, I see absolutely no reason why he could not meet some nice women his age and see what happens. . . Not sure how I would handle this if he has Alzheimer's but, even then, there must be a way to "meet his needs," as it were.

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score 4 · Answer 10

I remember a documentary from back in the mid 70s. What, my then, wife could not believe is a statement made by an ELDERLY woman; it went like this, 'If all I have to look forward to is eating & sleeping and No Sex, then I'd rather die.' That woman was in her late sixties; I still have that documentary on tape.

So what does that have to do with the question here (?), really simple, get the ole-man l**d. Just because there is snow on the mountain does not mean there no fire in the stove. Heck, Picasso was active well into his eighties; though surely you don't want anymore heirs. So don't let him be silly....have him wrap the willy.

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score 1 · Answer 11

Shoot, my aunt made a pass at her female care takers. Now, that was a problem.

I certainly wouldn't buy him any magazines.

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score 4 · Answer 12

My husband is 87 and still wants sex. In my experience, it's got nothing to do with meds - some, I expect many, men have a sexual desire that exists for their entire lives. Whether or not the ability to perform the full act is there - the drive always is. Even if you hired a prostitute - how long would that be remembered? I lie down and cuddle with my hubby - it seems to help - as he knows I love him.

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score 3 · Answer 13

I'd call is doctor ASAP and ask for a little medication to knock that drive right down! What you don't need is his female caregivers leaving because of unwanted advances!!

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score 0 · Answer 14

70 is a "young" elderly & with modern pharmaceuticals totally enable old roosters to keep on clucking.

Old roosters is a real issue for NH and most of those guys are in their 80's & 90's.At my late MIL old NH, there were 3 old roosters that were just relentlessly sexual. Your stepdad may be the type who has always had a active sex life so this is totally normal for him. Or it may be due to a medication or combination of medications that is fueling him. There is probably a whole underground market of working girls who service the aged……not exactly a pretty visual but that could be something to look into for him. Depending on where you live, it could be pretty easy to find them.

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score 0 · Answer 15

Obviously it is a side effect to his medication. Call the doctor and see what they can change or adjust his medication to take care of this problem.

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score 0 · Answer 16

Is he getting enough (other) exercise?

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score 5 · Answer 17

69 yrs really is not that old in that dept., I know my parents were "active" until 80 ish and my FIL 87 has a 92 YO GF. I doubt they are doing anything, but the attraction is still there. If he is inappropriate then that is a whole other problem that needs to be addressed. Otherwise, I would encourage him to go to the senior center, clubs etc to meet ladies he may want to date. Older guys are in BIG demand! YOU are not in charge of that part of his life, nor do you need to hear about it. Just provide social opportunities for him to meet others and he has to do the work...or not!

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score 2 · Answer 18

There's an old joke I've heard for over 20 years in nursing homes: "They say the mind is the second thing to go. What's the first? I can't remember!"

All joking aside, the first thing is often sex. The biological impetus to procreate is actually stronger than the need to eat. Put in other words, the ability to pass on one's genes is a much stronger drive than survival.

In your profile, you have specified age-related decline. If your SD's health is on the slippery slope toward dementia or any either kind of impairment, you may be dealing with his inability to filter inappropriate behavior in addition to the increase in his libido due to the correction of his thyroid deficiency.

This may become a problem of whether systemic health should override psychological well being and the only way that can be determined is in consultation with his medical care team.

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