Can siblings change Mom's burial plot?

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beautifulmom Asked January 2014

Can siblings change Mom's burial plot?

I have two siblings who will and have fought me on everything to do with our Mom. They didn't like the plot in the family cemetery and raised so much HELL the cemetery gave Mom's money back, the cemetery stated Mom could only be buried in the plot reserved by my cousin, their secret (not really a secret) half brother. My Mom did not want this. To avoid airing all the families dirty laundry I went with Mom's other choice, which is beside my Dad. They will hate this and it will be HELL again, maybe worse. These are some MEAN and Crazy women. So far their full brother my half brother is standing beside me which is weird because they were always so close, but he says they are crazy too. I just want Mom's final wishes to be hers, not mine or theirs. They know everyone in these small communities and I do not. Can they have this changed? Can I do anything since the POA will have ended to help support my Mom's wishes? It is really cheap for a burial plot a 50.00 to 100.00, so I don't think the money will be of any issue. I am also sure Mom has mentioned all of this to them before but they just like the Drama and the attention. Can they take Mom's Final wishes away? Thanks for any advise and help I am too Stressed over an issue that shouldn't happen anytime soon.

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score 0 · Answer 1

I don't know the plot was beside my moms favorite brother and I don't know why maybe they don't like his kids. My aunt chose the other spot and my mom told me where she wanted. My aunt didn't ask my mom she just reserved a plot and told her. My mom doesn't want by the sister that betrayed her and by the sister and son of her first husbands child. The other sisters want what causes the most drama, their secret brother is not my moms son it's moms sisters. They we're ask several times to go pick out a spot and let me know and I would ask mom, they claimed they couldn't do that,they couldn't deal with that. I told them it would be easier now than when mom was sicker. Now it's too late mom can't tell us yes or no so I can only try to do what mom told me she wanted. Thank goodness I ask mom to tell me a second and third choose. Thanks everyone

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score 0 · Answer 2

What exactly was your sister's objection to the original plot you chose? Why did she choose a different one?

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score 1 · Answer 3

I would go back to the funeral home speak with the owner and TELL him where Mom wants to be buried.. No ifs ands or butts about it!!!

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score 0 · Answer 4

We have already done the pre funeral planning. The only thing that was left undone was the picking of the plot. Mom got upset and I told her I would do my best to do what she wanted and she said OK. The man at the funeral home called one of them ( she the sibling said) and ask her if she was ok with the plot, why would he do this? They went to school together. I was reading over the letter from the first cemetery stating Mom could be only buried in the plot reserved by her sister and they would be an added 300.00 charge not the standard. I don't think any of this is legal, but who knows. I understand why Mom didn't want to live in this area!

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score 3 · Answer 5

Take mom to a funeral director and she can pre-arrange everything just the way she wants, write the obituary, submit a nice picture, pick the songs and who should give the eulogy. She can sign for it, pre-pay for it and then it is DONE. The witches will have to find another cauldron to stir.

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score 1 · Answer 6

As my aged (94) mother would say, "Tell them to kissie assie." Stay strong. Your mom knows what she wants. Perhaps a letter from an attorney to the other siblings would help.

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score 1 · Answer 7

My Mom's funeral director knows where to bury her, since she prepaid all the arrangements have been made, even the songs to be played down to the memory cards..

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score 0 · Answer 8

How on earth could your sibs who do not have POA convince the cemetary to refund a plot they did not pay for? Who is going to be the executor of this estate? Is your mother still of sound mind? If so, I would go and purchase the plot she wants and tell the cemetary that if they mess with your mother's choice again, there will be hell to pay! Is she mobile, so she could go with you, or could she at least talk to them on the phone?

Also, none of my business, but this sounds like Mom was married more than once, and the sibs want her with THEIR dad and she wants to be with YOUR dad. Again, her choice. But frankly, she and her late husband(s) will all be DEAD, so sounds like a lot of unnecessary drama.

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score 0 · Answer 9

They are not paying for it, they haven't paid for anything. Mom told me her wishes when we purchased her funeral arrangements. I did make all of the pre arrangements for my mom she was sitting with me and told me everything she wanted and what she was to wear. I have tried to do everything my mom ask even if it came out of my pocket I told her she could have whatever she wanted or needed. Thanks for listening!

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score 0 · Answer 10

Many things can change between now and the future date when your mother is no longer with us. It is usually the person who is the financial POA who decides this, since they are paying for it unless the funeral and burial site was pre- selected and pre-arranged by your mother.

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Can siblings change Mom's burial plot?

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