They say a DPOA,is to designate an agent to engage in certain functions. This can be anything from handling personal finances to making life and death decisions to healthcare decisions.As an example, general power of attorney provides agents with broad powers that permit them to conduct a variety of transactions..
With that said above,I have not yet found the purpose of this POA to help me do these caring & finance duties.I'm beginning to think that the only purpose of being a POA is in case something happen's financial institutes have a finger to point too!Or to come after if issues who to point the blame.The true fact is,if there isn't a POA.There's knowone to point the finger too.
More information,
I'm my Aunt's DPOA.I'm my Aunt's visiting Caregiver.I am "Both".My Aunt lives alone in her home as she demands to do.My Aunt shows signs of dementia as forgetting many simple tasks.As examples,Burning frying pans when cooking,Forgetting to take her morning medications,Losing & misplacing items,gets family members names confused.
The biggest issue I found she has is not making it to the bathroom in time.This is my main concern.Her house smells of Urine.Her not making it to the bathroom on time is a everyday issue.Not only Urines her self all the time ,she poops/Feces her self all the time.I tell my Aunt all the time she needs to buy a tolet chair and a bed pan.Depends don't work if you forget to ware them.My Aunt refuses to buy these things to help with these issues.With her refusing to spend a dime for her needs I feel that these are signs of incompatent.She has the money to buy these things that she needs but,refuses to do so.I don't have the money to buy these things she needs.She demands to live alone in her home.In order for her to keep living alone in her home is gonna require her to buy these things.She refuses to spend her money for her needs.She's legally compatent to do what she desires.I can't force her to buy a thing.
Here's the problem I have with this DPOA,
As I'm her DPOA.I'm not allowed to buy a bed pan or a tolet chair for my Aunt using her funds?I can't simple,take her check book and write out a check to walmart to buy a bed pan without my Aunt's permission?If I'm my Aunt's DPOA.Why do I need her permission?I am her attroney in fact as stated on the POA.
What I find strange about this POA is,I'm allowed to cash her checks for her.I can draw money out of her bank account when she desires me to get her some spending money.I'm able to use her debt bank card to pay for her grocerys.Or pay her bills.
But,I can't use her funds to buy her a tolet chair,life alert,or a simple bed pan without her permission?If It's required that I must have her permission to spend her money?I see no purpose in this DPOA.
My Aunt refuses to spend any of her money for her needs and she is not making the right decisions.If your not able to make it to the bathroom in time?A tolet chair or bed pan would be nice I would think.And would help solve the problem.She fell 3 times in one week while alone in her home.She needs life alert or a live in caregiver.She refuses all.
I personally feel she needs to be in a nurcing home not living alone at 88 yrs old alone.
I feel this Durable POA I have should be able to override her permission in making the right decisions.But,since I am required to have her permission to spend any of her money on her needs.This DPOA to me seems pointless and worthless to have.I was told this DPOA I have took effect immediately when my Aunt signed it.But yet they say,a POA doesn't take effect until the client is incompatent by a doctor.Well,she may never be told by a doctor she's incompatent.Mean's until then this DPOA is worthless for me to help her now.
If I was on my Aunt's bank account as "Joint".I wouldn't have a problem using her funds to buy these things she needs.But,I'm not joint like I found that many POAs are joint to their clients accounts.
I feel in order for me to help my Aunt.I need to have this POA removed.Should I have this POA removed?
Her doctor allready has her Living Will information.I see no reason for this DPOA.It's not helping me what so ever I'm finding.In fact ,it's causing more problems for me then good having this POA.This DPOA by right's should give me control of her funds but,it don't.I feel the only reason for a POA is so bill collectors has someone they can go to .I sure don't want to be stuck with her bills being her POA at her passing.
(Should I have this Durable POA removed?)And just become Joint on her bank account?
I need advice?I'm on my last straw on this.
6 Answers
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First
Sorry for the venting lol.
Anyway,
To cmagnum,
To me it seems the doctor is depending on me to say my Aunt's incompatent. Not fare I feel to me. The doctor knows her past issues. And she is 88 yrs old with dementia. The only reason she is not incompatent at this time is because, she's not taking pills for de mentia. The doctor knows!..Why should it be me to take away her rights? Why should I be the bad feller. Finding another doctor as more work for me? Sure, add the work load to me lol. Like I don't have enough work allready doing this job. I talked to her attorney about this DPOA. I explained to him that it's costing me money out of my pocket as being her caregiver. I want to be reimbursed for costs associated with being her caregiver. NOT POA SERVICES. Seems what is stopping me from getting reimbursed is this DPOA in my way. I've been thinking about this for weeks day in and day out non-stop.It's driving me nuts trying to find a loop hole. Seems there's no other way around this but, to have my POA removed so I can be reimbursed without worries. I want to do all of this legally. But, it seems everyone else that's POAs seems to be getting away with getting reimbursed but, Me. I have a sister in law that is POA, JOINT on bank account, Caregiver for her Mother. She charges her Mother $800 a month for her Caregiver services and gets away with it all. And here I am with my Aunt that I can't recieve a dime? What's wrong with this picture I'm not seeing here? Is it because, this isn't my Mother?
I read/see all the time on this forum that Daughters or Sons are their parent's DPOA. And they are also, on their parents bank accounts as "Joint". And charging their parents for caregiver services or getting reimbursed for their pocket loss as well as writing checks in their grand children's names in order to be paid. But, yet here I am trying to do this all the legal way with this POA in my way.
Last, I don't see any other way to get by this anymore. I'm not getting anywhere with this DPOA. It's in my way. As of this moment, my Aunt is legally compatent. She has not been told by a doctor incompatent. This means she is compatent.
With that said, While she is still compatent is the best time for me to remove my DPOA .
If my Aunt would ever need me to help her handle her finances. All she would need to do is put me on her bank account as Joint.
They say DPOA or POA is needed for Healthcare decisions. Well, her doctor has her Living Will information. The doctor knows what she wants when/if the time comes. With that said my DPOA is no longer needed. Removing my DPOA doen't void her Living Will. My thinking is the only reason for a DPOA is if the client refuses to go into a nurcing home the POA can override it. Other then that,I see no purpose for this DPOA.
With my Aunt's dementia causes her to be very hateful and doesn't appreciate a thing I do for her. She refuses to spend a dime for her needs and expects Us to do everthing for her for free costing us money of our own. She forgets everything. She doesn't remember assigning me as her DPOA. She tells me all the time, Why did you do this without telling me? I repeat to her all the time she signed the papers with her attorney. She was consulted by her attorney prior of signing. I tell her if you don't want me as your POA just say the word I'm done. Then, she starts saying oh i'm sorry please don't go. Please, help me please. Why should I be her POA if I'm not appreciated for all I do for her. Look at how much money I'm saving her by not placing her in a nurcing home? Or for her paying/hiring a live in caregiver?
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get her to a doctor for an evaluation of her being competent.
Well, if I do that I'm the feller that has to answer to my Aunt.If I do that I'm the feller taking away her rights.Her doctor knows her conditions.Seems the doctor wants me to say the word.Why must I be the bad guy not the doctor?I understand what your saying.But,If I do that,My Aunt would disown me.But,by rights yes that is what needs to be done.
In reply to palmtrees1
My Aunt is legally compatent.Only because,her doctor seems to refuse to say the word or to be the feller to say the word.
I am sure some one else will have some good ideas for you, someone who has dealt with this before. Good luck to you.