My husband uncharacteristically will start cursing around sundown, particularly if he thinks I may not help him with his usual routine before he goes to bed. He worries that he won't sleep well, gets very impatient and automatically jumps to the conclusion that I don't care about him, that I think he's "garbage". I was very hurt when he first started this, but when I read about the sundown effect, I began to understand why it was happening. Now instead of defending myself or criticizing him for cursing, I simply ignore the cursing and try to reassure him that I will help him as soon as I can, telling him how long it will take (5 minutes to clear the supper dishes and put foods in the fridge). Then he usually leaves the kitchen and waits calmly for me. When I am ready to help him, I tell him that I will help him every night and that I do care about him.
If we have an occasion to eat out for a party with lots of people, this will usually make him very anxious (particularly at sundown). The doctor has prescribed anti-anxiety medication which enables him to act normally during the party (no cursing), even converses and jokes a bit. If it gets to be too late, we have to make our excuses to leave to go home so he can have his pre-bed routine.
Many caregivers experience caring for an elderly loved one who suffers with Sundowner's Syndrome. I have attached an article that will help you better understand what you are caring for.
Yes indeedy. Mom will fall asleep after dinner, but wake up at 8PM and toddle about until 2 AM. Anti-anxiety meds help, and a snack at bedtime will help settle them down. If there was a way to avoid the napping, it certainly helps. I don't know why sunset bothers them, but it seems every evening mom will call to obsess about some minor problem. My husband will patiently listen for an hour and assure her he will look into it. Then he goes back to watching the hockey game.
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If we have an occasion to eat out for a party with lots of people, this will usually make him very anxious (particularly at sundown). The doctor has prescribed anti-anxiety medication which enables him to act normally during the party (no cursing), even converses and jokes a bit. If it gets to be too late, we have to make our excuses to leave to go home so he can have his pre-bed routine.
Many caregivers experience caring for an elderly loved one who suffers with Sundowner's Syndrome. I have attached an article that will help you better understand what you are caring for.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/sundowners-syndrome-133187.htm
We hope this helps.
Thank you,
Ashley T.
The AgingCare.com Team
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