I am an only child taking care of my mother with dementia and having to take time off work. How can I get some financial help?
she can't get in a home waiting list because she needs lock down unit. I want to take care of her and it's starting a lot of stress about getting things paid for.
You can have attorney/legal aid draw up employment agreement outlining your care responsibilities, wage and expense compensation if you actually want to provide her care. Do you really want to do that? Consider adding in enough to pay for health insurance and benefits as well since you give that up if you are caring for mom vs full time employment.
Better option was to have left her in hospital and have them find placement for her -- i know I did just what you did and let them bully me into taking mom and then she refused to move to any care facility. I won't make the same mistake next time.
But, hospital or social services can find a place; understanding it might not be nearby (my mom initially was admitted to behavioral care 3 hrs away (because that was the only bed they could find appropriate for an elder). That said, they can find a place if they want to -- but they will do everything they can to release them back to to you...legally, you don't have to take the parent; you just refuse and say they must keep her until they find placement (and believe me, they will).
If you no longer can keep her or can't wait for the next traumatic event such as a fall, etc. where she is hospitalized first, then contact local center for aging, senior center director, etc. to help you find placement for her. If she has assets, home, etc. that will play in to where she is placed and how she will pay for her care. Many facilities including memory care facilities (secure lockdown for dementia and ALZ) will take her if they think she is a good fit and has ability to pay for at least a year. Then when all her money runs out, medicare will take over the payments and they can't kick her out for lack of ability to pay (make sure you discuss this with them so you are aware of their policies and contract agreements). IF she is veteran or veteran spouse, she might also qualify for assistance.
The original poster to this question stated that her mom had some money, so she wouldn't be eligible for Medicaid. This is a good question because I am in the same boat. I am my mom's financial power or attorney as well as health POA... (DPOA basically) but I can't get a job because I am taking care of her. Problem is, my bills are behind too. I think the only way for you to be compensated for taking care of mom is if mom pays you something to be there 24/7 for her. I asked my mom if she could consider something like that because I literally cannot work due to her being home and she told me that since I have two teenagers I can't work anyway (rubbish...) So I take her shopping daily and she buys things she can't even use. She's becoming a hoarder and I am selling off stuff at my place to make bills. What to do in our situation ??
I am in your very situation right now. My mom lives with me and her physical situation and mental (dementia) is deteriorating. I have had to take lots of days off work. A part of her is sort of child-like and seems to expects her "mommy" to be there for her. It is consuming, but I know there are those who have it worse than I do with their parents. She needs to go to assisted living, but having been a CNA I don't trust most of those places. Maybe I am prolonging the inevitable, and should just place her anyway, because I just can't keep missing work. I have my own life to deal with and have to keep my bills up, too. However, she has no money for assisted living. They are exhorbitant. God will provide if He wants her to go.
Good luck, I am in the same boat except now unemployed. Dept of aging is a good source and ocasdionsl have programs but in my case they were no longer funded.. Medicaid is option but my dad had some savings and does not want to spend down to qualify. It also depends on the state you live in. Kansas has nothing to help. Work with your employer if possible to keep limited hours or FMLA because no one will hire you if there is even a hint your a caretaker. Feeling for you.
We have contacted homes, waiting list 6 months to year. She needs lock down and is 100 % we had her at hospital Sat night, ambulance took her the doctor was sure she had an infection. Nope, they couldn't keep her. She owns a home, has some money and they say if have $1 medicare doesn't kick in to pay for nurse etc.
If you can get her into a facility, you will still be taking care of her. This is a BIG responsibility. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for lots of information on resources available. Also, ask her doctor or the social worker at the hospital she goes to. They know a lot about placements.
Are you in the US? If so, Mom is probably eligible for Medicaid. Medicaid pay for many useful services for persons living at home, and also pays for a care center when that is needed.
Persons with dementia almost always progress to where it is nearly impossible to care for them in a private home. If that time comes for Mom, she will no doubt need Medicaid. Apply for it as soon as possible, and take advantage of the in-home help in the meanwhile.
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Better option was to have left her in hospital and have them find placement for her -- i know I did just what you did and let them bully me into taking mom and then she refused to move to any care facility. I won't make the same mistake next time.
But, hospital or social services can find a place; understanding it might not be nearby (my mom initially was admitted to behavioral care 3 hrs away (because that was the only bed they could find appropriate for an elder). That said, they can find a place if they want to -- but they will do everything they can to release them back to to you...legally, you don't have to take the parent; you just refuse and say they must keep her until they find placement (and believe me, they will).
If you no longer can keep her or can't wait for the next traumatic event such as a fall, etc. where she is hospitalized first, then contact local center for aging, senior center director, etc. to help you find placement for her. If she has assets, home, etc. that will play in to where she is placed and how she will pay for her care. Many facilities including memory care facilities (secure lockdown for dementia and ALZ) will take her if they think she is a good fit and has ability to pay for at least a year. Then when all her money runs out, medicare will take over the payments and they can't kick her out for lack of ability to pay (make sure you discuss this with them so you are aware of their policies and contract agreements). IF she is veteran or veteran spouse, she might also qualify for assistance.
Good luck.
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and is 100 % we had her at hospital Sat night, ambulance took her the doctor was sure she had an infection. Nope, they couldn't keep her. She owns a home, has
some money and they say if have $1 medicare doesn't kick in to pay for nurse etc.
Persons with dementia almost always progress to where it is nearly impossible to care for them in a private home. If that time comes for Mom, she will no doubt need Medicaid. Apply for it as soon as possible, and take advantage of the in-home help in the meanwhile.