Past 2 weeks condition worsened. She lives alone, but can no longer see her microwave and refuses to go to a facility- not much available where she lives. I live about.5 miles from her and do not have a set up that would enable her to live in my home. I work full time, am an only child. I am 61 years old myself. I don't know where to turn for help.
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Is she on Medicaid? Have you looked into whether she would qualify? Medicaid has a program that provides in-home help, as well as financial aid for a care facility when that is necessary.
That she has "gone through" 5 sitters is not surprising. She may need a very experienced health care aide who is used to working with impaired and cantankerous elders. One of the agencies who help elders may be able to give you suggestions.
Here is a list of agencies, by state, that deal with hearing loss: http://www.hearingloss.org/content/state-agencies
Here is a similar list of agencies for those with vision impairment: http://macular.org/state-agencies-specializing-blindness-and-visual-impairment
Here is a way to locate the Area Agency on Aging for your state: http://www.aoa.gov/AoA_programs/OAA/How_To_Find/Agencies/find_agencies.aspx
Another resource is to contact the Social Services in your mother's county and ask for a needs assessment. That can help you determine if it is feasible for Mom to stay where she is.
If/when she gets on Medicaid there will be a case worker you can work with.
Your options? It seems to me that you can use the available resources to determine what, if anything, would make it feasible for Mom to continue to live on her own, and also to determine how to pay for the assistance she needs.
Another options is to find a suitable long-term-care facility to move Mom into. Again, use the available resources to help determine the kind of setting that would be appropriate, and also how to pay for it.
This task must seem overwhelming right now. Take it one day at a time, step by step, and I'm sure you'll come up with satisfactory solutions. (Don't expect perfect solutions, cause that ain't gonna happen.)
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I guess I'd first try to investigate supports that could extend the time she can stay in her home, where she is very familiar and presumably relatively safe with the environment.
If/when she cannot stay at home even with help, look into the possibility of a foster home arrangement. You might have to explore beyond your immediate area for that.
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