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bigmomma2 Asked January 2014

How can I get my dad to have the desire to learn to wipe his own butt?

Living with parents and my father is very ill. He has suffered a stroke, complications with heart surgery. He is confined to wheelchair but can walk with help and cane. Refuses to walk for me, will not take a bath, and changes his own adult diapers on his own. I will always be here to take care of my father. I am afraid he has given up. and thats fine, but if he has given the will away to wipe his own but, well i should not be asked to . Not because he just dosent want to try, not that he cant. Please help

pamstegma Jan 2014
I always said when Mom can't wipe her butt anymore, it is time for the Nursing Home. You can't just let it go, the patient ends up with skin infection and cross contaminates all kinds of surfaces. His physical decline makes it very difficult to get it done without falling over. Talk to the MD about his options.

blannie Jan 2014
He's probably depressed and feels lousy. That would be my guess. Can you get some help in to assist him with his showering and personal care? Or get him one of the butt wiper gizmos out there. It's probably hard for him to physically wipe his butt. If you google "butt wiper" you'll see what I'm talking about. If he's not on antidepressants, see if that would brighten his mood a bit.

You're all in a tough spot and my heart goes out to you, your dad and your mom. It's hard, I know.

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