What do I do as POA in this difficult situation?

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STAYSTRONG57 Asked January 2014

What do I do as POA in this difficult situation?

My Mom is in Assisted Living and has Memory issues. She had co-signed for my half brother's mortgage as he was getting a divorce. He has not been mentally right since my Dad passed 2 years ago. He has gotten a lot of money off Mom. He has recently been charged with assaulting an officer again, Suspicious Behavior, Trespassing, and other aggressive charges. Finally he was put into a Psychiatric Corrections Facility. He spoke of the devil and is not making any sense. ( no drugs involved) they could not do anything and he was transferred to another facility that has 8 beds and one to one watch and help.He will be in there for a very long time as this is court ordered. Meanwhile, his home that he can not afford has back taxes and is not being paid for. I had to get electric heater's to unfreeze his house. It has cost money for some help with the furnace, heating oil etc... I am taking care of Mom's bills and other stuff as POA. Now Jay's house,,,Too much for me!! Mom co-signed so she is even responsible for overdue taxes and house payment. What do I do???? Can I as POA talk to the bank in her behalf and sell the house? I know Jay can not keep his house and he may end up living in a facility for life. He is not even stabilized and not in touch with reality... What do I do??? Just when I thought it could not get any worst this happens,.....:(

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score 0 · Answer 1

Talk to your mother's doctor and to an attorney. You have to determine if she was mentally competent to co sign a loan in the first place. The legal issues here are to complicated for you to deal with by yourself.

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score 0 · Answer 2

Staysstrong, you ARE one strong woman! You've got a plateful of issues. You've gotten good advice and an unnecessary tongue-lashing here. I just want to give you a big virtual hug for all that you're trying to do for your mom, your brother, and your poor doggie with Lyme Disease. Just know that this too shall pass. You don't have to be perfect in what you do and feeling overwhelmed is normal with all you've got going on. Just take time to take care of yourself and your doggie. And come here to vent when it all seems like it's too much. You'll get a hug from me every time. I think you're awesome.

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score 1 · Answer 3

To: Ferris1 She's not insulting anyone, she's overwhelmed. Give her a break.

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score 0 · Answer 4

Please, for your sake, get your Mother's dementia diagnosed by a neuropsychologist. They can give you an answer quickly. This will ease your mind about her disability. I agree with Ferris that your mom will no longer need credit, so if you let the house go, she will no longer be burdened with that expense.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Does your brother have significant equity in the house? If so, maybe it would be worth it to cough up the taxes and overdue mortgage payments and sell the place and give your mom her money back. If there is no hope of getting any significant funds back out, I would let the house go like Ferris suggested. The county will probably sell it off as a tax sale and they can fight with the bank. All kinds of people walk away from homes that they cannot afford, and it sounds like your family has a compelling hardship to do so. You will probably need some legal help in case the bank tries to come after her (if they think she can pay). Your attorney may have a way to show that she was under duress to sign or not in her right mind, if it comes to that.

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score 1 · Answer 6

as your mom's POA you should be able to go to the bank and talk to them on her behalf. If need be you can always file for bankruptcy. So sorry you are going through this on top of everything else.

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score 0 · Answer 7

Correction: I meant to say "mentally ill" patients above. Just because one has a mental illness does not make one any less human. Time to stop insulting those who are blameless.

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score 3 · Answer 8

It will get better when the house is foreclosed and you will not have those expenses. Your mother is not going to need anymore credit, so just pay her bills as POA, and forget your brother's house. His mental illness (which sounds like schizophrenia) can be managed with medication and he can be released because most mental ill patients are not kept in prison long. There is every reason to believe he can cope if given the right tools and help AFTER he gets stabilized. So stop blaming him for an illness he did not "cause" and try to understand those with mental illnesses. Your mother has one too.

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score 2 · Answer 9

Sorry your brother is suffering from psychosis. You have a lot on your plate. I try to look ahead in situations. You said your brother has become stabilized (for now). His condition is unpredictable but usually when they find the correct medications/dosages they may start preparing him for discharge/ etc. Often people stop their medications upon release because they think they don't need them. It can begin the cycle all over again.
Since your mother is deeply involved financially, and you are POA you will have to deal with the financial issue of the co-signing, and possibly other things you don't yet know about.
The first step is an Elder Law attorney.... do not delay this. The laws are too complex to deal with. The next thing I suggest you get a neuropsycology evaluation for your mother so they can diagnose in writing her dementia and the stage she is now in. Often the dementia is much worse than we know, so let the experts do this and request a copy of the evaluation. It probably will show she is not capable of making decisions. The 3rd thing which is a huge undertaking, but may be necessary is becoming guardian for your brother, or have the state designate a guardian for him.

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score 0 · Answer 10

No no one has POA of my brother nor would he give it to anyone but right now he is not able to make any decisions. He talks to people who are not there. I feel sorry for him. I think there maybe some equity in the home not much. Also I have to find out if there are any liens. I know of one.So much to do, I try to handle a couple everyday. I struggle with having no family. My dog has Lyme. I am not sleeping. But I will check out that lawyer AVVO. Mom's elder law attorney says get a guardian for Mom, it cost $1200.00 for paperwork set up then $125.00 per hour for every thing they do as in go to court to ask for any money for Mom if needed. It gets so complicated and most people are even overcharged. I am handling Mom's bills as POA , I am not having problems now that my brother is out of the picture. I do feel sorry for his state of mind, but he has gotten a lot of money from Mom.. Memory Clinic said Mom was okay. They are wrong...I do not believe Mom really grasped what she was doing when she co-signed for Jay, can't prove it a it was last year she signed.I will try AVVO. Thanks:)

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score 8 · Answer 11

Does anybody have POA for your brother? Maybe he should be a ward of the state. You should also contact an elder law attorney to get this sorted out. Would the bank possibly take house in lieu of foreclosure? Would brother sign POA for you to deal with selling the house? To ask attorneys questions at no charge go to the website AVVO. You will receive several responses. The site also has client and peer ratings.

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score 0 · Answer 12

The bank has sent her certified letter's as he was late. The town clerk's office has her name on the taxes for his house. I asked why her name was on it, they said that more then likely the bank wrote it up that way. Tried getting in touch with the bank... I will go down to the bank tomorrow. My mother is so depressed and her memory is getting worse. When it rains it pours :( Thanks you seem very active in this and have taken your advice.

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score 1 · Answer 13

She co-signed for the mortgage so she is responsible for that. He is responsible for the taxes and utilities, do not pay that with your mother's funds . If the house is in his name only, then he is the only one who can arrange for the sale. You could approach the bank and let them know the situation, but you can't arrange for sale of the property.

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What do I do as POA in this difficult situation?

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