My step dad's in hospital with moderate to late stage Dementia and never asks where he is or if he can go home. Is this normal?

My Mom is in Hospice with a bad heart and dementia. She hardly speaks at all. She isn't on any medication. The doctor says not talking is part of the advanced stages of the dementia. She doesn't seem to be in any pain but eats very little.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry to say that I share norestforweary's view; and agree with the advice that at this stage a pacemaker would do him no favours. It's very hard, I'm sorry. Good for you for taking charge on your mother's behalf. Many spouses find it almost impossible to take action, for all sorts of emotional and stress-related reasons, so she was fortunate you were able to step in.

The low heart rate makes people very tired.... it will also make them very dizzy. His profusion of blood/oxygen to vital organs is diminshed as well. This will increase his symptoms. Honestly, a pacemaker would prolong his life of dementia.

Countrymouse, he was admitted because he was becoming aggressive with my mother, throwing things, breaking things, his Dr and social services asked me to get him to the hospital. my understanding is he is on a low dose of medication for the dementia symptoms because when they tried the higher dose it affected his heart. His heart condition is a low heart rate that requires a pacemaker but they will not do the surgery because they dont think he will do well. Yes I am visiting him with my mother and he seems quite content which is very good, I would much rather that than the alternative. Because I am just really learning about the disease and doing some online research I was just wondering what other peoples experiences have been. up until his admission, he refused to see a doctor or take any medications but his dementia has progressed so rapidly over the last 6 months I had to do something for his well being and my mothers. I am in Canada so the "rules" may be a bit different here, right now they have deemed him to be an unsafe discharge and will be keeping him in hospital until a long term care facility is available.

It is not uncommon for late stage dementia patients to have personality or behaviour changes. He's been in the hospital for quite a while for today's hospital/insurance guide lines. A different environment for a dementia patient is much more confusing. Hospital routine wakes up patients at ungodly hours tiring them out even more. It seems he is more "out of it". Since he is having cardiac issues, there is probably a diminshed blood flow as well. He could be being treated for congestive heart failure, which involves kidney dysfunction as well. There are so many reasons ... but probably is the late stage dementia.

Sasha, why was he admitted to hospital? If his heart condition is serious, or he has additional health problems, don't forget that he'll be on all kinds of medications as well as having symptoms of those other conditions too - his apathy, if you don't mind my calling it that, could be to do with fatigue or almost anything. He might be sedated, or he could just be very, very tired.

I'm going to assume, cautiously, that you're visiting him with your mother? If she's worried, encourage her to ask questions; but on the whole it is good news that your step-dad seems to have peace of mind at least.

I am relieved he isn't complaining don't get me wrong, it would be much more difficult and guilt filled if he was always asking those questions, I was just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience.

My Dad was moved from his home of 20yrs in FLA to a NH in MA he also had moderate to late dementia he never asked to go home. He actually thought he was in a hotel! When my Mom came to visit he never even asked her why she wasn't staying with him? Everyone's different.

I'd be relieved he's not complaining!

My FIL has mild/moderate dementia. When he was in the hospital, he never asked why or when he'd go home. They transferred him to a rehab, and again, he never questioned it. I thought it odd since when he's at his facility, he has certainly questioned it. Honestly, I think he liked the extra attention he got in the hospital and rehab. After he left, he told me they were really nice and he liked it there.

Thanks jeannegibbs, that is helpful, it is such a difficult disease to understand

I agree that medication is a good answer and would be related. Depression is also a common issue seen with these patients. Asking the nurse about this behavior may help or get you more unanswered issues. Hospitals tend to create all kinds of behaviors that appear new to family members; it could be a passing emotion.

My mother has mild to moderate dementia. She was hospitalized for a uti and GI bleed, and then transferred to a transitional care unit for rehab. She was in pain in the hospital and complained about that, but seemed pretty content to be where she was. One of her kids visited every day. She knew us, was pleased to see us (especially when we brought treats), but never asked when she would be leaving or why she was there. A son had Thanksgiving dinner with her there at the care center. She did not ask why they were eating there. This did seem strange to all of us. When she was discharged after a few weeks she settled into being at home.

A year ago she gave up the apartment she had lived in more than a quarter of a century. She lives in the walk-out level of my sister's home. She enjoys it, has more room and nicer surroundings than she did in her apartment. She loves my sister's cooking and she is glad not to be alone. But she never has accepted that this is now "home." She is very confused about that. When she was visiting me and I told her I'd be taking her home that afternoon, she said, "Home? I don't have a home." She was serious. I am glad she is able to be content wherever she winds up, but the whole thing seems strange.

On the other hand, my husband went through a period early in his dementia where he begged to go home, day after day. He was at our home all the while.

I think there is a large range of behavior that is "normal" for dementia.

HIPPA is privacy protection for patients. I have to believe he's medicated to be so quiet.

Sorry don't know what HIPPA is? He isn't on any medications because we found out he has a heart condition that won't allow him to take the medications typical for dementia patients. I have found it to be so strange that he hasn't once asked where he is, when he can leave, when he can go outside, nothing and in all of my research. I haven't come across this so was wandering if anyone else has had this experience

More likely part of his medication. Anti-anxiety and disassociative medications may have him very relaxed. Under HIPAA you won't get more information without being a health care proxy.