Siblings are fighting because they don't want Dad, with mild ALZ, to leave his condo. Any advice?

I don't understand why he has a guardian with
MCI. My Mom could still make decisions and
When the doc felt she could not I took over
As POA. May is ask why you went for
Guardianship? Because with that all other
Siblings lose leverage because the guardian
Has the right to do what they want.
You could take your dad to a geriatric
Clinic and have him evaluated but I'm assuming
That was done and that caused the
Guardianship
My suggestion is (if everyone agrees) to
Hire a Neutral Elder Mediator to sit down with
The whole family including the dad and
Talk about it. Usually things come out in
Mediation . You can talk private with the
Mediator with your concerns or together
With everyone and everything said is
Confidential. It really works. I can tell you
From experience. Hope this helps

Let him do what he wants....once the dementia gets severe...he could have accidents in that condo and jeopardize all the other people there..with the wrong accident...He worked for his money...he should spend it like he wants...If they want to keep the PERKS of the condo...let them come together to buy it as a family...from an agent and let them agree on how to pay for it....otherwise..it is still his money and his decision as long as no one has POA..no one can tell him what to do..

I believe you siblings will need to get together and work through the one who is guardian right now. Unless you choose to consult an eldercare attorney together to be sure this guardianship was properly done and necessary. There is an official testing called a 'neuro-psych evaluation' which has to be ordered by a physician that would, for sure, diagnose the degree of any dementias that was present in your Dad AND clearly show what the limitations were in his thinking. When my Mom had her testing it took a few hours and was a series of testings done by a psychologist. Of course, the only other ways to get definitive diagnoses on various dementias is to have an MRI of the brain ordered by a neurologist or main physician. IF your dad has dementia diagnosed, I would hope he is in the care of a neurologist who specializes because that is the best way to get the best and most current treatments or be hooked into the latest research that is going on. With someone appointed as guardian, you will either have to work through this sister for an agreement to check into these ideas, or you will have to organize to press with an attorney to see if this guardianship really needed to be done. I am just saying that the neuro psych exam would be your official answer to what was really going on with your Dad and if there can be an agreement from both him and the guardian to have the testing, it will show everyone what you need to know about his functioning abilities at the moment. My Mom's psychologist said the testing should be done a couple times a year just to see how the dementia is progressing or staying stable, which is good info for planning care needs down the road too. Good luck, and I encourage working towards sibling COOPERATION because, as someone doing all this alone for both parents, I can tell you this is not an easy path to travel at all and you may wish you had several of you with room in your homes and ultimately Dad travelled from one to the other periodically so not one of you had the whole burden on your own shoulders, especially if there is a desire to honor Dad's wishes and keep him at home and out of a facility. This cannot be done, at some point without caregivers in the home. I only wish I would have known the whole story of how this goes in the beginning....and I am a retired RN, so I did know a lot...but not nearly the truth I needed to know!

Twelve children! Holey Moley! and the brothers are nowhere to be found? I actually feel sorry for the one picked as the Guardian. It's not a lark you know, this person is restricted by a court order! Stop fighting!!!!

We are just getting snippets of the story here. Before a conservatorship is granted, there is generally a court-ordered evaluation, unless two doctors qualified geriatric doctors have already concluded impairment. And now, even the sister conservator is constrained from making too many decisions, certainly no changes in real property, without the court's consent. So unless the sister is in agreement with what the father wants and is willing to make a case for the changes before the judge (go to that for her father, so to speak), there won't be any changes. If she already didn't want the job, she probably doesn't want to stress of confronting the court. She would even have to have permission from the court to place dad in assisted living and sell the condo. Until you've been tied up in the conservator process, you have no idea how crazy the system is!

My advice is for everyone to stop fighting about this. One person, and one person only, has the responsibility and authority to make decisions.

Fighting didn't do you a lot of good in the guardianship case, did it? There is just no point to it now.

There are agencies that can do an assessment of your dad and his living situation. I'm not sure if it has to be suggested by his physician, you may want to ask. In the assessment, they use certain criteria to give you concrete information for a decision. Remember this is a process; your siblings may still want to think that there is nothing wrong with dad. Reality will set in eventually and they might be in a better place to accept the changes that are taking place.

Which daughter does he want to live with? How does the guardian feel about his buying a house?

Fair or not, it is the guardian's call. She didn't ask for the job, but she didn't turn it down. She's it. Her responsibility is to act in Dad's best interest.

Let Dad do what he wants, he can afford great care and can use the condo fees to support that care.

There are 7 sisters and 5 brothers. Sister #1 initiated the guardianship. When we went to court, my dad said he specifically didn't want her so the judge said it would not be her. Sister #2 and #3 were my dad's choices.The other side of the table was loud and said they did not want #2 or #3 but all they said was, "No". There was no evidence given. Sister #4 suggested sister #5.The judge told the rest of us to be quiet, asked sister #5 two questions- How many times have you seen your dad this month and how many times did you see your dad at his farm. Both answers were "twice".Then the judge said, ok, it's her. This has very negatively affected my dad. Wouldn't you think there would have been more of an interview? Sister 5 keeps saying she didn't ask for the job.

On the face of it dad can't do anything without the guardian's permission. The first thing would be to consult an elder care lawyer and see if dad still has any rights and if not can you go back to court If he has rights and the dementia is mild he can live anywhere he chooses. the daughter who he has chosen needs to think long and hard before taking on this assignment. he won't be always pleasant and easy going as the disease progresses and she may be stuck for many years as others have found.

Is the daughter he wants to live with the one who is his guardian? Or is the guardian in favor of the house purchase?

Wow! Guardianship is expensive from what I hear. My guess for judge to do that the Alzheimers/dementia is worse than mild. It is also not easy to get guardianship. I am curious..... who initiated the guardianship? Did anyone else contest the other sister to have guardianship? Were you all notified this process was taking place? He wants to buy his own home and have his daughter live with him? My mother in law has advanced alzheimers and up until a little while could sell snow to an eskimo! My guess is the dementia is worse than you realize and he may not be capable of making a decision to buy a home. Something does not seem right.

Unfortunately, my dad was assigned a guardian whom he doesn't want. In court he told the judge he wanted one of his two daughters if he had to have someone. The judge assigned another daughter who doesn't even know my dad. Now my dad has no rights whatsoever to make ANY decisions. It's just not right.

If he can afford the home, why not? A nice ranch in a senior community would do him well. Just make sure sis knows what she is getting in to, he may expect her to be his total entertainment center. Condos include outside maintenance and the cost of this for a separate home won't be cheaper. Forget what they want, it's his money and I hope he spends every penny before he goes.

Has he assigned a POA yet?