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tinawee Asked February 2014

How do "I" handle putting Mom in respite care?

I just read a respite question from glowgo about what to expect when your love one returns from respite care and I found the answers helpful. I "need" to put my 83 yr old mom who lives with me in respite care at the end of this month for 4 days. I am a nervous wreck, knots in my stomach. Mom goes to day care 5 days a week and enjoys it most of the time. Mom is a HAPPY 4 year old and I am so afraid I will break her spirit with this move not to mention the fear of her falling!

tinawee Feb 2014
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I do plan to tell her she is going to a "Resort" for a few days while I have to go out of town. I will post what happens, there and when she gets back home.

maggieb Feb 2014
She does not have a concept of "days" like you and I do, so take what YOU need. She will be okay. Choose your respite facility wisely, and there should be little chance of her falling. I agree with the other answer in that it is best to call the staff to check on her well-being and happiness. If she is as good natured as you indicate, she will enjoy meeting and being around new people. Let go of the knots. Mom had to let you go do your thing. Maybe it is time, for a few days, to let her to her thing.

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pamstegma Feb 2014
Are you sure 4 days is enough? If you are having any kind of surgery, take longer. Do not call her a lot, it's like leaving your child with a sitter. Calling in encourages tantrums. Check in with staff, make sure she is amused, but let her enjoy her "vacation".

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