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familyhelp2day Asked February 2014

How can you trust a Dad who has attempted to place me in jail more than once?

I own the home with my mother. They have been divorced for many years. He was suppose to live with my brother but he wanted to come back after my mother was injured in an auto accident. She is diabled now and has to use a walker. I had a good relationship with my mother but with her health deteriorating, she's become angry and feels alienated. My father is ninety and is more able bodied. I work all day and have to trust him in watching over her because she is frail. She's resistant towards anyone's help. I'm overwhelmed and have done my best to cooperated with the doctors and social workers. Meanwhile, I feel like my father wants me out of the picture because he feels that I'll have him kicked out. He drinks and has been disruptive a few times. My mother insists on smoking in the home and doesn't care if I suffer from migraines. Both have been abusive for many years. I hold the bank note this to home and it's not easy for me to just move out. Sometimes I feel that they still think of me as a child. I'm fifty-six. My mother acts out violently and has struck at me. They called the police and now I have been charged with assault on an elderly person. She was the antagonist and fell. My father called the police the next day. They came to work and I was booked. It was her word against mine. She's done this before. I have some medical records of her gambling addictions and nicotine dependence but it's difficult for her to change. I have hired an attorney because even though she said she won't show for court which will have the charges dismissed but in the future, how do I prevent this from happening again.

gladimhere Feb 2014
2 day writes home is owned with mother. Are you both legally responsible for mortgage? Or are you the only signer? If it you home get them both out by helping them find another living situation. Or you should leave.

What a terrible situation to be in, owning a home with mom and dad becomes a permanent guest that you cannot seem to get rid of. Have you thought about pressing charges on them? Did this filing of charges ever happen before dad was back in the picture?

Eyerishlass Feb 2014
How do you prevent something like that from happening again? You move out. You don't allow yourself to be abused or manipulated. I understand that your situation may be tricky with the house and like the Countrymouse said, I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say that you hold the bank note to the home but even if that means that you own the home you are within your rights to sell it if you choose and mom and dad will have to find alternative living arrangements.

No one should be putting their hands on you, I don't care who it is or for what reason or who owns the house. From what you described it sounds like a very toxic living arrangement and if it were me I'd move heaven and Earth to get away. You don't owe your parents anything. When there's abuse and addiction involved it's every man for himself. Get out.

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Countrymouse Feb 2014
When you say that you 'hold the bank note' to this home, what do you mean exactly, please? That you own it outright? That you are the freeholder and have a mortgage on it? Please clarify; thank you.

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