My Dad has Dementia, why doesn't he like to talk anymore?

I find myself talking less. It takes a complex action of the brain to get the thoughts sent to the mouth. Words get lost or come out wrong and the train of thought gets derailed. He can still hear you and most of all he can still feel your warm hand in his, feel a hug and smile when things are going right. My old friend and neighbor, Harold, lost all power of speech, but he always had a twinkle in his eye when I hugged him. Cherish those little things, they are gone too soon.

My mom has the problem of communicating too, and it's very frustrating for her as well as embarassing. She can hear herself and knows what she wants to say.

But, it is just impossible for her to verbalize.
She wants so much to carry on a conversation. She's an extrovert. She thrives around people But, she knows she can't find the words and say them in a understandable sequence. So, she withdraws and stops trying to be part of the group. When I am with her, I can usually figure out what it is she is trying to say. Sometimes not. But, I have found that if you ask questions that she can say yes or no to, you can find out what she is trying to say. This helps her to stay in the mix and still feel part of life.

My husband only talks gibberish. He is pretty quite around others and can say short phrases, but when we are home he talks gibberish and asks gibberish questions ALL DAY LONG. I can handle most of his care but the talking wears me out.

As the dementia progresses, the ability to speak becomes more and more difficult, to the point when the words are just not there anymore. My husband had vascular dementia and when he could not talk anymore, we communicated without him having to speak. I took his hands, asked the questions and watched his face. His eyes, his smile, his squeezing of my hand let me know if I was on the right track. Try to do the same with your father. My husband and I spent hours "talking" this way - going down memory lane - things we did, places we went - everything he could not remember. His expression on his face let me know how much he enjoyed hearing about it. And always tell him how much you love him - that he will always feel; it seems to penetrate the deepest fog that clouds the dementia patient. It did for my husband until the end.

Communication is difficult for dementia sufferers. They want to talk, but sometimes they can hear their own jibberish unfortunately. I used picture books with my dad and he would make his comments best he could. I feel it is important to exercise the brain in spite of dementia and encourage all of the senses to function as much as possible.

Sometimes they can't or it's too hard for them now. Or as cip442 said, they can't stand their own jibberish and feel it when others look at them with incomprehension at the word salad they speak.

My mother used to talk non-stop, and now she'll sit there silently. I don't think she has a lot to talk about, that's part of it, repeats the things that happen in her very small world over and over. Not sure she's too clued into what's going on in the world. She tells me she spends a lot of time thinking about the far past. She'll sit in the dark with no TV or radio for hours at times. I'll guess the input gets overwhelming sometimes. So many changes in the world too... what are these people talking about with FB and twitter, sexting, twirking... it must seem alien.

That was one of the first things Bill lost. I miss having meaningful conversations. All he can talk about is the weather. He can still sing the old songs from way back in his memory so I play then a lot! He likes that! Today is Valentine's Day and he doesn't even remember what it was about! SAD. He and I were devoted to each other. Now there is very little evidence of that love left. He will still hug me and tap me when a romantic song comes on. That is something for me to hand on to.

Mom is so funny in this aspect of her dementia. She talks and fully expects that she is understandable. Most of what she says is indistinguishable. However, she looks at me as if I have understood her every word and their meanings! When I tell her I don't understand what she is trying to say; clear as a bell she says "are you stupid today?!!" At first I was hurt by this, now I just smile and give her a hug!

to Photoartc: I guess I am lucky that my husband is so quiet! I need to practice more of what marksburg said. Try to communicate with hands and touches and watch his face! It is so sad for me especially on this Valentine's Day. Certainly not what it used to be! But of course I still love him and want him to know!