How do I know when it's time to get full time care?

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45batrachian Asked February 2014

How do I know when it's time to get full time care?

My friend is still very mobile but forgets everything and repeats herself! I care for an old friend who has Alzheimer's. I'm not sure she needs full time care yet. She can still feed herself, shower, dress, etc. When she started getting her medications mixed up and not taking them at the right times, I would individually wrap them for her with the date and time to take them. This seems to work most of the time. My concern is that she doesn't remember things from one moment to the next and repeats the same information and stories within minutes of the last time she recounted it. Although she can still take care of herself she has recently mistaken the TV remote for her cell phone! She doesn't use the oven anymore but will make herself lite meals, salads, toast, cheese & crackers, uses the microwave. I prepare dinner for her at night. She watches TV a lot, she still feeds the cats and takes pretty good care of herself otherwise. I've been living with her since May 2013. Up until recently I didn't feel the need to get someone to be here when I'm away on weekends, but now I am concerned. I've researched the medical references and I think she is in late stage 1 or early stage 2, but she is still cognizant & mobile enough to where I just don't know. She is upset with me when I suggest getting someone to be here with her and says she will be fine. What to do?

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score 0 · Answer 1

45Batra, you shouldn't need a night sitter unless she is "sundowning" which is an increase in agitation in the evening.

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score 0 · Answer 2

My mother was adamant that she could control her meds and, living in the basement, I took her word for it. After all, unless absolutely necessary you don't go through other people's stuff but with the narcissism and dementia she was major crafty. When I cleared the house out I found pills hidden everywhere and returned them to the pharmacy for destruction.

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score 0 · Answer 3

All good answers! I have tried the pill box route, she mixes these up! I am her POA and have her Health Care Directive. I just read that if she cannot manage her bills or finances any longer, which she cannot, and if she misplaces things, etc. then she is in Stage 4 Moderate. Some references indicate it is time to get more help. So maybe just a daytime sitter and not an overnight sitter?

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score 1 · Answer 4

You are still early in the game. When you are gone, ask a friend to come over on the pretense of looking for you, just a look and see once a day. Also make sure that 911 knows who to call in an emergency. Go with her to the MD visits and share any changes you see. Encourage her to update her Will and assign a POA for when the time comes. If you can get her to make you a Health Care Proxy, that will come in very handy down the road.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Can you get sectioned pill boxes, each section with the day on it? Perhaps make the evening meal(s) so she can just warm them in the microwave. Sounds like she's doing pretty well at caring for herself and her cats. Is there perhaps a neighbour who might pop in or would she view it as an intrusion?

As her condition worsens she may need a "sitter" so perhaps now is the time to gradually work towards it, so when she does need it won't be scary for her.

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How do I know when it's time to get full time care?

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