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slptch68 Asked February 2014

I care for my husband who has dementia. What steps can I take when he suddenly doesn't remember who I am?

Yesterday we began our day as usual. I left the house to start the car and when I returned and said are you ready to go, he said he had to wait for his wife. He became very agitated becoming angry and swinging the bag in his hand. We did not leave and he spent most of the day wandering the house and glaring at me in anger. He does not speak much but usually only nods or shakes his head in response to questions

anonymous158299 Feb 2014
lol, nancy.
adultry is allright, getting caught at it not so much..

NancyH Feb 2014
slptch68, there was a lady in our church whose husband had died of Alz. She and I talked once about him and she told me that he chased her around the house one day with a fireplace poker. She said she'd finally given up trying to dodge him and the disease to be honest, and just sat down. She told him to go ahead and just kill her because she'd rather be dead anyway. She told me he dropped the poker and told her that he didn't want to kill her, he just wanted her out of the house before his wife got home. So if your husband is getting so mad and not talking to you, then maybe he too is afraid that when his wife gets home she'll find you, and he'll catch hell. I wonder if he'd go down memory lane with you via a photo album? Can you ask him to look at some pictures of you and he and the kids etc. and see what he says? The farther back you take him with him memories, the more he'll remember right? That's the route I'd go to see if it helps.

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anonymous158299 Feb 2014
the trademark bandana also produced another unforgettabkle moment. after a heart episode my mother was in hospital heavily sedated and drifting in and out. on one lucid sway she looked towards the others in the room, then looked at me by her bedside and asked everyone if this was jesus. if she hadnt faded back out idda had some fun with that one for a minute or two.

anonymous158299 Feb 2014
lol, blannie. we were offering the same solution at the same time.

anonymous158299 Feb 2014
you may just have to put on a fake moustache and be whoever he wants you to be. my mom was trippin badly one day and stood 3 feet from me with a pretty comical smirk on her face and told me i wasnt bob. doh !!, i had to scramble to get my trademark bandana then all was good.

blannie Feb 2014
What I've seen others say on here is to walk into another room for a minute and put on an outfit or piece of clothing he's used to you wearing (one poster talked about an apron) and come back in and say something like, "Honey, here I am...I heard you were looking for me." Use familiar phrases he's used to you using. If you're used to wearing a certain cologne, I'd also put some of that on, because our sense of smell is the last one to go.

It must be heartbreaking...I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

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